The Wife of Forty Years

Transcription

l don't want to send you running for the hills or anything, but... l really feel like if we decide to do this again, then... maybe we should hold off on the physical part for a while. That is a fantastic idea. Why didn't l think of that? Really? Totally. No sex? No. Why do that? Because here's the thing. From personal experience... l found that sex can really complicate things. And what we should be doing right now is getting to know each other. Yeah. Well, l never thought you'd go for it. l'm going for it. Well, that iust is a great, great notion. Are you serious? Look at my face. Look at how serious l am. Can you see my nostrils? Yes. That's serious. That's more angry. Yeah, you know what, most guys would be saying: ''Yeah,'' right now, but, like, by the third date, it would be: ''Hey, baby, l really need to physically express how l feel''... and all that stuff. Well, hey, baby... you know, three dates.... Make it 10, 10 dates. How about 15? Fifteen. Screw your 15. 20 dates. Okay, 20 dates. Twenty dates. Okay. This is genius. lt's gonna hurt. Not as much as you think. We can really get to know each other this way. Yeah. This is one, right? No, next one. [door opening] [clearing throat] ls it safe to come in, or are you guys doing it? Honey, it's safe. Great. (Trish) Well, good timing. Yeah. (Trish) You remember Marla. Hi, we met. And this is my little bunny rabbit. Julia. Hey. This is Andy. Julia, how you doing? You know what, do you by any chance like magic? Yeah. l thought that you might. Because l noticed on the way in... that you had something shiny behind your ear. Marla, did you see that? Something behind her ear? You think you do? Could l check? Do you mind if l check behind your ear? Big money! [exclaiming] That's amazing. Wow, it is amazing. There's something else, too, behind your ear, l think. No, actually it's not behind your ear. l think it is your ear. Rip! lt is your ear. There is your ear. l ripped it off. Gross! Yeah, that's.... All right. Wait. Okay, but that means that you... walk around with a rubber ear in your pocket all day? Yeah, like half the time. You know, l can come to your high school... and do it for your friends if you want. You know what, l should head out. Really? Yeah. l have to give you a ride home. Right. Yes, you do. Yeah, 'cause you don't have a car or anything, right? Right, l don't have a car. J 'Cause he doesn't have a car and he does magic. Awesome.