The Beard

"The Beard"

Seinfeld episode

Episode no.

Season 6
Episode 16

Directed by

Andy Ackerman

Written by

Carol Leifer

Production code

615

Original air date

February 9, 1995

Guest appearances

Robert Mailhouse as Robert
Katherine LaNasa as Cathy
Jon Gries as Homeless Man
Edward Winter as Mr. Stevenson
Joan Scheckel as Denise
John F. O'Donohue as Gus
Jerry Diner as Lou
Mirron E. Willis as Officer #1
Ken Kerman as Officer #2

Episode chronology

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"The Beard" is the 102nd episode of the NBC situation comedy Seinfeld. This is the 16th episode for the sixth season.^[1] It aired on February 9, 1995.^[1] In this episode, Elaine falls in love with a gay friend while serving as a beard for him, Jerry is subjected to a polygraph test to determine whether or not he has ever seen Melrose Place, and George goes on a blind date with a woman who turns out to be bald.

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Transcription

Plot

Impressed by how attractive George is with his toupée, Kramer sets up a date for him. As he does not have a picture of her, they go to the police station where a sketch artist friend draws them a picture. There, Jerry's eye is caught by Sgt. Cathy Tierny. On their way, Kramer gives Chinese food leftovers to a homeless man. After eating, he refuses to return Kramer's Tupperware container, leaving him no way to save his meals.

Elaine goes to see Swan Lake as a beard for a gay man whose boss is conservative. At Monk's Café, Elaine talks with Jerry about how nice Robert is, and says she wants to convert him to heterosexuality.

Jerry is introduced to Sgt. Tierny. She mentions Melrose Place, which Jerry says he has never watched. His manner is unconvincing, so she proposes using a polygraph to see if he is lying. George meets his date, Denise, and discovers she is bald. He goes to Jerry's apartment and vents his disgust at Denise's baldness. Outraged at his hypocrisy, Elaine tears off his toupee and throws it out the window. The homeless man takes it.

Wig-less George tells Jerry he is again himself, and will continue seeing Denise. When Jerry asks his advice on the lie detector test, he tells him that "It's not a lie if you believe it." Jerry takes the polygraph test, and cracks under questioning with regard to controversial plot developments in Melrose Place, which provoke him to vent his strong opinions on those controversies, exposing his familiarity with the series.

After a date, Elaine successfully invites Robert to her apartment. However, Robert quickly converts back to homosexuality. Denise dumps George, who becomes upset at being "rejected by a bald woman". Kramer assumes Denise dumped him because she learned he is bald, and blames Elaine for throwing out his toupee. Elaine refuses to apologize, insisting that the wig made him look like an idiot and act like a jerk. Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer all settle down to watch the new episode of Melrose Place.

While standing in police lineups for money, Kramer is falsely accused by the homeless man of a jewelry store robbery.

Production

Writer Carol Leifer got the idea for the episode from a date she went on as a beard for a gay friend of hers who was in banking; the date was painfully awkward, but she thought the situation had comedic potential.^[2] The idea of Kramer posing in police lineups came from her reading that David Caruso used to do the same thing when he was a struggling actor.^[2]

A lot of material was cut due to time constraints. Jerry and Elaine's meal was to evolve into a chopsticks contest; after Elaine announces she is making her move to convert Robert to heterosexuality, Jerry was to promise to brutally mock her if she fails; and after George tells him "It's not a lie if you believe it," Jerry was to practice this teaching by telling a man it is 2:30 when the clock says it is 4:15, with George nodding in silent approval.^[2] In addition, the scene where the lineup participants are told to turn left and then turn right was scripted to end with Kramer singing "The Hokey Pokey", but the show's producers were unable to secure the rights to the song.^[2]

References

^ ^a ^b "Seinfeld Season 6 Episodes". TV Guide. Retrieved December 10, 2021.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d Seinfeld Season 6: Notes about Nothing - "The Beard" (DVD). Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. 2005.

External links

"The Beard" at IMDb

v t e Seinfeld episodes
Season 1	"The Seinfeld Chronicles" "The Stake Out" "The Robbery" "Male Unbonding" "The Stock Tip"
Season 2	"The Ex-Girlfriend" "The Pony Remark" "The Jacket" "The Phone Message" "The Apartment" "The Statue" "The Revenge" "The Heart Attack" "The Deal" "The Baby Shower" "The Chinese Restaurant" "The Busboy"
Season 3	"The Note" "The Truth" "The Pen" "The Dog" "The Library" "The Parking Garage" "The Cafe" "The Tape" "The Nose Job" "The Stranded" "The Alternate Side" "The Red Dot" "The Subway" "The Pez Dispenser" "The Suicide" "The Fix-Up" "The Boyfriend"† "The Limo" "The Good Samaritan" "The Letter" "The Parking Space" "The Keys"
Season 4	"The Trip"† "The Pitch" "The Ticket" "The Wallet" "The Watch" "The Bubble Boy" "The Cheever Letters" "The Opera" "The Virgin" "The Contest" "The Airport" "The Pick" "The Movie" "The Visa" "The Shoes" "The Outing" "The Old Man" "The Implant" "The Junior Mint" "The Smelly Car" "The Handicap Spot" "The Pilot"†
Season 5	"The Mango" "The Puffy Shirt" "The Glasses" "The Sniffing Accountant" "The Bris" "The Lip Reader" "The Non-Fat Yogurt" "The Barber" "The Masseuse" "The Cigar Store Indian" "The Conversion" "The Stall" "The Dinner Party" "The Marine Biologist" "The Pie" "The Stand In" "The Wife" "The Raincoats"† "The Fire" "The Hamptons" "The Opposite"
Season 6	"The Chaperone" "The Big Salad" "The Pledge Drive" "The Chinese Woman" "The Couch" "The Gymnast" "The Soup" "The Mom & Pop Store" "The Secretary" "The Race" "The Switch" "The Label Maker" "The Scofflaw" "The Highlights of 100"† "The Beard" "The Kiss Hello" "The Doorman" "The Jimmy" "The Doodle" "The Fusilli Jerry" "The Diplomat's Club" "The Face Painter" "The Understudy"
Season 7	"The Engagement" "The Postponement" "The Maestro" "The Wink" "The Hot Tub" "The Soup Nazi" "The Secret Code" "The Pool Guy" "The Sponge" "The Gum" "The Rye" "The Caddy" "The Seven" "The Cadillac"† "The Shower Head" "The Doll" "The Friar's Club" "The Wig Master" "The Calzone" "The Bottle Deposit"† "The Wait Out" "The Invitations"
Season 8	"The Foundation" "The Soul Mate" "The Bizarro Jerry" "The Little Kicks" "The Package" "The Fatigues" "The Checks" "The Chicken Roaster" "The Abstinence" "The Andrea Doria" "The Little Jerry" "The Money" "The Comeback" "The Van Buren Boys" "The Susie" "The Pothole" "The English Patient" "The Nap" "The Yada Yada" "The Millennium" "The Muffin Tops" "The Summer of George"
Season 9	"The Butter Shave" "The Voice" "The Serenity Now" "The Blood" "The Junk Mail" "The Merv Griffin Show" "The Slicer" "The Betrayal" "The Apology" "The Strike" "The Dealership" "The Reverse Peephole" "The Cartoon" "The Strongbox" "The Wizard" "The Burning" "The Bookstore" "The Frogger" "The Maid" "The Puerto Rican Day" "The Chronicle"† "The Finale"†
† Indicates two-part episode

This page was last edited on 5 April 2024, at 15:07

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