Sheila Lirio Marcelo

Transcription

MODERATOR: We are so lucky to have Sheila Marcelo here today to talk to us about her company, Care.com. She is the founder, chairwoman, and CEO of Care.com, and it's the largest online destination for finding quality care. You can find care for children, for seniors, and for pets. We'll hear more about this, but I think you started this because you found yourself sandwiched between needing to take care of young children as well as ailing parents, and you just had a hard time finding quality care and felt like, gosh, there's got to be a better way, and technology has got to be the solution here. So I think it's a great fit for a lot of what we care about, as well as the technology, as well as in our personal lives. And you founded it in 2006, and recently took it public this year. So we can ask her about that process as well. I have to say, I'm in the process right now of changing my care at home. So personally, I've got a job open on Care.com. For any of you that are interested and are thinking to yourselves, gosh, this sounds great, we have a Google benefit where we pay for a premium annual membership for all of our Googlers. So just go to go/care.com benefit if you want to check it out. One last thing to note before Sheila comes up is that we're so lucky to have her here, because she's someone who's speaking at the state level, at the country level, in a lot of places. She was a speaker at Davos last year. She also presented, alongside President Obama this year, on the White House Summit for Working Families. And she's also spoken to heads of state in Japan, in the Philippines. And in Japan, there's a real infrastructure issue around child care there. So she is knowledgeable not only in running her business and as an entrepreneur and as a mom, but she's knowledgeable at the state level as well, across the globe. So with that, welcome. [APPLAUSE] SHEILA MARCELO: Thank you. Good morning. What do you see? Do you see the bird, the aspirational view of what literally could be the egg that the painter sees? What do you see when you look in the mirror in the morning? The lion or the cat? Might depend which morning it is. What do you see here? Do you see a mother bird feeding her chicks in the nest, or do you see a pensive woman? Why am I showing you these images? Because it's illustrating a simple fact-- you actually see what you want to see, or what you're programmed to see. We're going to talk a little bit about the brain this morning, and why it matters. Because first, I'm going to start to share some of my own stories. You're seeing a CEO, founder, chairwoman. Thank you for the introduction. You've got context of who I am. But what if you don't have the context? I'll share three quick stories. One morning, I got up, I went downstairs to the refrigerator, I opened it to go look for eggs, milk-- typical weekend-- and decided I was going to run to the grocery store, because we didn't have any. And I decided I wasn't going to put any makeup on. I was just going to put my hair up on a ponytail, put some sweat suits on and just run to the grocery store. I get to the aisle to pay, and the woman behind the counter said to me, do you want me to put the items in the bag? Do you want me to put the items in the bag? And a third time-- do you want me to put the items in the bag? I leaned back and I said, that would be terrific. Thank you very much. She was so taken aback that I spoke English fluently. What did she see? Second story. When I was a VP at TheLadders.com-- terrific company-- and we were looking at some important software and meeting with a vendor, I slid in late to a meeting, and my team had started the meeting already. There was an empty chair. And as the vendor was presenting, I politely interrupted and I asked a set of questions, because this was an important software and it was an important decision. As I was in the midst of a number of questions, he paused, and he said to me, I'm sorry, young lady. Do you know anything about the recruiting industry? And I ignored it. I smiled, and I continued to ask my questions. And I think by the fifth set of questions, he realized I was the decision maker in the room with regards to the software. And I continued to proceed and ask the questions I wanted to ask. A third story-- what did he see? A third story-- a very, very recent one. We just took the company public, and last year, we did a non-deal roadshow as part of the practice of taking a company public, to get institutional investor feedback. We had been flying around, and I was exhausted. I decided to go to the bathroom quickly. Get any bio breaks that you can. And I came into the meeting and went straight for the coffee pot, because there was very little sleep. Our CTO was a man. Our CFO was a man. Proceeded to sit down, and of course, I was at the coffee. And I said to everybody-- I felt like my parents and my mom raised me well-- and I offered everybody coffee. When I went in line and started making the introductions-- CTO said, hello, my name is Dave, CFO says, yes, my name is John-- and then when I was about to shake the institutional investor's hand, they said, you must be the assistant. And I smiled with a big smile on my face, and I said, I'm Sheila Marcelo. I'm founder and CEO of Care.com. Very nice to meet you. Thanks for having me. What did they see? What did they see? A lot of it really starts up here. And in those moments, I put a big smile on my face, and I have what I call my Katniss moment. How many of you have seen "Hunger Games?" It's those heroic moments. Why do I go back to superheroes? I go back to Clark Kent, the newest one, Henry Cavell-- really hot, really cute. But-- it was easier to find his picture. And Angelina Jolie, too. So why these superheroes? Because oftentimes, superheroes are underestimated because of that inner strength that they have in here. I'm a huge superhero fan. I watch all of them. So the question to the audience is, how many times have you felt like you've been underestimated? Where does it start? What do people see in you? And so much of it starts up here. What's so interesting, though, is that it really starts within ourselves. Here, and here. So much about it is about reprogramming the brain. And we're going to talk a little bit about the brain. And for a fact, if you are suspect about whether the brain can be reprogrammed, there have been lots of studies. It's broken the myth that brain development only happens with children. In fact, it's changed. The studies have now shown that even in your 40s-- I'm in my 40s-- you can reprogram the brain. There's a study called neuroplasticity that's coming out. It's being applied to leadership. Some terrific books coming out. Korn Ferry put one out called "Learning Agility." How do you continue to learn and be flexible, which is important leadership? There's another great book that I just finished, called "Immunity To Change." And it is precisely about the development of the brain from three phases-- self awareness, self-authoring the brain to change the framework and how you think about things, to what we call self-transforming. And we'll talk about those three phases in a little bit. So so much of it starts up here. And I'm going to come back to what I've had to reprogram. Everybody has their vowels and consonants of whatever their shortcut is. I have what I call my three P's. My three P's are not the typical MBA positioning, packaging, pricing. It is about perfection, passivity, and pleasing. Those are things I've had to reprogram in my brain. But I want to come back to those and describe that in a little bit, after I describe some of the things around the journey that I went through to get to reprogramming. Here's a quick journey in describing my story. A very good friend of mine at work, Erica Scheik, who is our Chief Brand Officer-- as we prepare speeches, sometimes she looks for pictures on Facebook, and I have no idea, and she puts it up. And she said, it seems to me that whenever I go on Facebook, most of your pictures, you seem to be at the center of the picture. What's going on with that? I started to really unpack what's going on there? And I said, there really is a story. So guess what? The little girl in the polka dot, peeking out, in red and white, is Sheila. So at a very young age, when I was three, I got thrown into the center-- I was the fifth of six kids-- thrown into the center, because we were in the Philippines. I was born and raised in the Philippines. We became-- a very brief period-- colonized by the Americans, and freed us from Spanish oppression for over 300 years. So we were so enamored by American English, and of course the music, and the Beatles, and so my parents said, we would love for you to learn American English. And here I was at three years old, and I was forced to read American newspapers in front of all my relatives, starting when I was three years old. And constantly put in the center. And I learned early to have my voice at such a young age, and to public speak. But like every child, and especially-- I'm making a stereotype, but a large majority of teenage girls go through their insecurity. I went through my own. In high school, I went to boarding school. I was 14, crying to my sister who also went to the same school. She was three years older than me. I was in her room-- typical weekend-- crying, crying, talking about this friend talking behind my back, and could I trust them, and what did I do, and why was I perceived this way? And went on and on and on. An hour later, my sister, who was three years older-- at 17, very, very wise-- said to me, we just spent an hour talking about you. So obviously, a majority of your brain is spent thinking about you. What makes you think anybody else thinks about you? Because they think about themselves. So get over yourself. Get over your insecurity. They've got all other problems in life. We spent this entire hour, 90% of the time, talking about you. Other people are the same way, so get over yourself. Insecure teenager. Fast forward, when I get to college-- I went to Mount Holyoke College, an all women's college. I moved from the Philippines. I went to a small liberal arts. But still, I was an immigrant, and it was foreign for me. And I remember, at my very first Asian American meeting, I raised my hand to ask a question. I was shaking, and my whole head was covered in sweat. I was so nervous. Where was the little girl? What happened to her voice? What happened? What was going on in my brain? Where was all this anxiety coming from? I pose those things because I think so many people have their own stories of insecurities, of things that are going through, whatever-- it's their upbringing, whatever baggage, or anything else. But there is an opportunity to reprogram your brain. In my adulthood, I decided to go on this journey. I call it the me, you, we. I haven't written a book about it. It's not anything fancy. There's not any marketing speak there. But it's called the journey of me, you, we. I'm going to go through that in a second. But before I do that, I wanted to give everybody a heads up-- that after I talk about the journey of me, you, we, I want to call two of you up here, to share for one minute with everybody, your Katniss moment. So think about it for a second, and then I'll come back to you. What is this journey of me, you, we? The first part of me is very narcissistic. It is about building self-awareness. You journal. You ask yourself, whether it's in a professional or personal environment, what are my triggers? What is it in that meeting that made me talk that way? What point was I trying to get across? Was I trying to be a team player, or was I trying to shine and be a superhero? And I often ask those I mentor across the company, did you inspire or did you impress when you left that meeting? Because at the end of the day, what is it that matters? What are those triggers that we have? And I'm talking about something here in a professional setting, in meetings. What are my triggers at home? What is it that makes me fly off the handle? What makes me shut down? What is it that makes me passive, and not engaged? You actually have to invest to get to the second phase, of the you phase. And why is that? Because the you phase is all about leadership. It's focusing on others-- not me, but you. How do I focus on you? How can I ever focus on you if I spend 90% of my brain thinking about me? Here's an image. You're in a meeting. How are you going to run the meeting to focus on the strategy, the content, the body language, the eye contact, the subliminal messages that are being sent around to everybody in the room? How are you running that meeting if you're spending 90% of your brain focused on the insecurity of, am I saying the right thing? If I said this thing, how am I being perceived? How could you get to that journey of being a leader that focuses on others if you're still grappling with so many things related to you? So you have to invest in that self-awareness. I very much encourage journaling. And I've done that quite a bit. I also very much encourage meditation. So it focuses a lot on controlling your brain. There's a great Buddhist monk-- a modern book called "Turning Your Mind Into An Ally." I read it every year. It makes me pause, take a step back, and really ask, what is it that's going through in my brain? Is it the reality of the situation, or is it just my own stuff? So that I can focus on you. Another advice I give-- and I often give this to management team members who will come and relate a story to me of something that's difficult that's going on in the company. A specific management issue. And I will pause, and say, let's go through-- I listen to the whole story-- I said, let's go through that again, but now, let's remove you from the equation. Let's pretend you weren't even part of the equation of what happened there. Let's just focus on the employee, and let's repeat exactly what happened. And the story fundamentally shifts, and the thinking shifts, in how we're going to handle that situation. Because now, it's not about the actual person relating this story, but it is about the specific individual. It's the you part. And it's a powerful thing to do that. Another mnemonic I always give people is, when you're in a situation and your body language starts to shift, and your heart rate, and this is that investment in you, and you know your triggers-- what you do is, you leave your body. I'm not proselytizing Buddhism. I'm not Buddhist. You leave your body and watch yourself. You literally watch yourself, and say, what is it that's going on there? What is the real conversation that's happening? What are we trying to get across from each other, removing myself from the equation, so I can go solve the problems? Now let's talk about the we part. And by the way, going from me to you to we, you can go back and forth. The we part is very Gandhi-like. It's from what we call success to significance. It's a very long journey in life. Because you focus on yourself. You focus on the others, and the people, and the lives that you touch. The we part is a hard one. Because how do you impact the lives of people that you don't come into connection with? How do you create an impact and significance in the world? How do you focus on the broader we of the things that you decide to do in life or what you represent in terms of leadership? It's a journey I'm still trying to figure out. And by the way, this journey is not an easy one. You go back and forth constantly, learning about yourself, being better, as a leader, to others. And then, at the same time, how am I making an impact in the world, and what am I doing every day that makes a big difference? I call that the journey of me, you, we. Now, I'm going to call in a couple people. Volunteers are also welcomed, but sometimes the cold call is the only way to get you up here. I'm just kidding. How did that feel? Where was your heart rate? More importantly, where was your eye contact? You probably were not looking at me, because you did not want to get cold called on. So how are you going to run a meeting? It sounds pretty basic, but how do you master your mind to manage the content? Worry about perceptions? Worry about impressing people? It's just so much to think about. And that was just a simple exercise. That was just asking for a minute-long Katniss moment. It was your own personal story. Some people are breathing hard. Here's a technique. This is my sister. I shared that story. This is a technique-- I wish that I came up with this, but this, actually, I just picked up at a spa. I went to cure myself. I talked about the narcissistic me. It's called the 4-7-8, and it's one of the most important business techniques I try and teach a lot of people. You breathe in four times. Do it with me. You hold for seven, and you breathe out eight counts. You do it in cycles of four times. Guaranteed, your heart rate will come down, and lizard brain will go away, and you will get centered, and you will focus on whatever it is you're doing. You will be present. I do it all the time. I'm sitting here right before I speak, right before I have to go on national television, right before I run a meeting, when I'm upset, pissed off, driving in a car and a driver is irritating me-- the 4-7-8 is like magic. It's how do you create that present in the moment to stay focused and have control of your brain. Just a quick example. There's plenty of those exercises. That's one I picked up at Canyon Ranch. It's terrific. Why am I even talking about the brain, and why does it matter, and where is my story in all of this? So now, let's come back to self-awareness, and describe me in a second. Two things-- how did I let go of these P's that I described early in the beginning? The first one is perfection. Born and raised Asian family. My mom was a tiger mom, and I'm very proud of it, because she was very aggressive and pushed me to be assertive, but also programmed a lot of things in me that I just really needed to let go. An example of this is-- and many women might relate to this or not-- but why is it that on weekends I have to have the dishes put away before I even enjoy the weekend? Why do I nag my teenage boy that the bed has to be perfectly made? He's giving this look like, does it matter? Because I've got to get back in it tonight, anyways. And my husband will come to me, let's just enjoy the day. Why don't you let go of that? And I found, psychologically, it was probably the same set of triggers at work. Because when I was asked to be promoted to a director, I felt like all these boxes hadn't been checked yet. So when I got offered to be a director, I looked at my boss, I said, are you sure? I don't know that I'm ready. Of course, a man would get an offer and say, sure. I'd take that job. But it happened, also, when I got promoted to a VP, to a GM, and then when I asked to be a CEO. What was it? Is it because that, for every job that I take, that I have to have the perfect experience? That I've ticked off all the boxes before I'm ready for that job? I knew that's not the case. I know it seems like I'm using a simple analogy, like dishes. But what was it about my own definition of perfection that I had to let go? That I had to have confidence that I could do that job? That I could just enjoy the day and enjoy the moment? So much of it really does start up here. A second, that was difficult for me for a long time to learn, is, how do I embrace my strengths? How do I own that the differences are my strengths? What do I mean by that? I am a female leader, and I do consider myself different. There's nothing wrong being different. Diversity is a great thing. But there's a big debate among female leaders that if you called yourself out as a female leader, it would mean that you're different. But isn't the whole purpose of parity to say that you're not different? That you're perfectly equal? I don't think that's what it means about gender equality or parity. I think it's about owning that our differences are our strengths. It's a mouthful. Let me say that again-- owning that our differences are our strengths. That they really are strengths. And what I call opposing forces. You can be both creative and analytical. And what I used to be insecure about, as a young leader, professionally, was, can you be both tough and nurturing? I didn't used to bring my whole self to work. At home, if I'm on the cell phone and my son is nagging me to go play a video game while I'm distracted on the phone, what look do you think I'm giving him? I'm, like, really? Right now? But I never question myself that I can tuck him in bed and be loving and nurturing and still be tough. Why can't I bring my whole self to whatever I do? That authentic self? That those opposing forces are still me? Both sides are me. Both sides can be strengths. And there's so many examples of that. Back in the book "Immunity to Change," the self-transforming mind appreciates those opposing forces. That it's OK. You don't have to be one or the other. You don't have to have one box checked for that perfection. Second P-- pleasing. I grew up with these designated professions that I talked about. Asian. So there was a doctor-- there are six of us-- a doctor, a dentist, an engineer, a lawyer, an accountant. My younger brother got away with it. He could do whatever he wanted to. But I was a designated lawyer. So I decided to apply to law school. I got in. I didn't enjoy my first year of law school. I liked the study of it, but I didn't think that I wanted to be a lawyer. So I applied, I got into business school. And my parents really discouraged me from becoming an entrepreneur, because they were entrepreneurs. I was so focused on pleasing them. At the end the day, I followed my heart. It wasn't an easy task. Because as an Asian, it wasn't part of our culture to do something different from what my parents envisioned. But to this day, I respectfully said to them, look, I will finish law school, but I will not practice law, and I will be an entrepreneur. I followed my heart. That was my second P. The third is passivity. I talked about being a child that had a voice, but yet, when I started my professional career, I went into either the shyness or it took some time to actually speak up. Law school certainly helped for me to go and debate, but I had to push myself in meetings. And then what ended up happening-- and some of you might nod your head on this-- is I started to, what I call, over-project. I forced myself so much to be assertive in a meeting, that it sounded borderline aggressive. Maybe not even borderline at times. I was young on the management team. I was in my 20's, and they were all in their 50's at Upromise. I was a petite Asian woman. I didn't feel like I was going to be heard. And there were only two of us, and the other woman was also a petite lady. And we both just spoke up. And I called it over-projecting. And I had to push myself, because I had an inherent nature to be passive. Nowadays, when I have young management team members or executives in the company, I encourage over-projection so much that I try and speak last. I try and encourage going around the room to try and encourage people to find their voice. That it's OK. But how do you conquer that if you don't practice it? How do you conquer and reprogram your brain so that you can feel confidently listening to yourself? You've got to just put yourself out there and let go of that shyness. So that's the me three P's. And everyone has got their vowels or consonants. Whatever summary that you've got of what you think you need to reprogram? It is very doable. The second is the you part, this helping others. How many of you consider yourself leaders? Raise your hand. Awesome. Google is awesome. How many of you consider yourself female leaders? Half. It's usually 10% when I ask that question. And why is that? Again, it's that debate that I talked about. What I think really needs to happen is, if you are a female leader, because there's few of us, is raise your hand up high and let other people see you. We need more role models. Believe that. Believe that you are a role model to so many girls and young women who need to follow in your footsteps, to lead. But raise it up proudly. And it's OK. There's nothing wrong being different. It's about diversity. And I always often hear the comment that women hate going to women's conferences now, because what do you get out of it? It's the power and strength of meeting other women. Not all of them are effective, I understand. But if it means being able to share stories with each other, to conquer whatever it is you're reprogramming, and to get tips from each other, I highly, highly encourage it. That's each to his own, obviously. Or her own. So I do think that that's important. And then, how do we get more of these stories out? Walter Isaacson of the Aspen Institute just put out the book on the innovators. And I think some of you probably read the most recent "New York Times" article. I don't know if you know that Ada Lovelace was one of the first who ever wrote a computer algorithm. It's actually in his forward of his book, because his daughter wrote a paper on it, and that's the only time he even heard of Ada Lovelace. I don't know if you've heard of it. I only read it in the "New York Times" article. And it dawned on me-- why don't we have more stories of female leaders out there, so that we can create role models? More stories about you. Get it out there. Share it with others. Blog. Not because you're selfish or you're self-promoting, but because you do want to make an impact. Now let me get to the we. I have not forgotten the men in the room. I don't want you to think I'm just talking to the women. I'm looking at the guys. I'm going to talk about my son, Adam. He is 14 years old. He plays nose tackle football. He's also starting to really smell. And shave. Shower is the constant debate in our household. But he is also this. [VIDEO PLAYBACK] [ADAM SINGS] [END VIDEO PLAYBACK] He's also an opera boy. He now sings baritone. That was obviously treble soprano, and he was younger. His voice is getting deeper and deeper, so it saddens me. But he's also a football player. One day he comes home from school, and I said, how was your day, bud? And he looked pretty troubled. And he said, Mom, I have to tell you, I'm just really irritated with my football friends. They don't want me to sit with my drama friends and kids that sing. And they're like, why are you always singing, too? Kind of picking on him, and irritated. He's 5'10", and he's kind of big, so it's hard to pick on him, but he was really bothered by that. So I was ready to jump in, be the mom, to solve that moment, give him advice, and he said, I got it. I got this one. I said, what do you mean? He said, I don't really care what they're saying about my drama friends. I love the books we read. I love the conversations we have. They're terrific. I must tell you, I felt pride. I felt hope that I had taught my son to woman up. He had embraced those opposing forces. Both the diversity and all the different strengths, whether he's learned it from his dad or me. And why do I share this? Because both men and women in the room, what are we doing to reprogram our brain? What are we doing to woman up? Thank you for having me. [APPLAUSE] MODERATOR: How much of these values are you imbuing into the company that you're leading, and that you're building? And how are you doing that? How are you getting your leadership team, and all of your employees, to embrace these values that you clearly hold so dearly? SHEILA MARCELO: Well, certainly we put out values across the board that are gender neutral for the entire company. It's there for you-- transparency, humility, excellence, respectfulness, and entrepreneurship. That's the there part. So it's important, I think, to articulate values from the very beginning, even in the formation of the company. The other thing that I do on the gender-specific question is that I very much am comfortable with naming that, is there a gender issue that's going on here? And it may or may not, but at least opening the dialogue, so it's something that we can just talk through. I had once one executive on the management team who would sometimes lose his temper. It happened a few times. And I had to pause in a 101 intermeeting and say, is it because I'm a female leader? Let's talk about that. It's not necessarily comfortable to have those conversations, but I think it's important and it's necessary to improve those relationships. Because the reality is, I am a woman. When you take your Myers-Briggs, and you're extroverted or introverted, you're a feeler or a judger, or whatever those letters are, that's who you are. So if it's impacting the relationship and the way we lead the company, then we need to have those conversations. AUDIENCE: Sheila, thank you for sharing your stories. I could relate to a lot of them. One question-- so as you move from a management career into entrepreneurship, could you talk a little bit about that journey and how it went for you? SHEILA MARCELO: I think that I had been an entrepreneur ever since I was little, because I started helping my mom in her business at six or seven years old, to answer phones, and I was known to ask lots and lots of questions about how business functions. Why do we price that way? So I think it was just inherent. But I think-- you can have entrepreneurship. And it is, to me, the values of risk-taking. The values of testing and iterating constantly. To say, it's OK to fail, embrace that as a learning moment, as opposed to being judged as a failure. So I think that it's having those set of values that makes someone an entrepreneur, whether you're in a large company or where you're starting something. It is that embracing failure, taking risk, pushing yourself to disrupt yourself-- to be innovative. Just recently, we took the company public. But I would say the fall prior to taking the company public, I had asked the question of everybody on the management team, how do we disrupt ourselves? Are we the right team to scale this? And I had a few management team members actually come up to me and say, I'm not sure I'm the right person to scale at this level. And to have that conversation-- because again, it's that entrepreneur, to say, how do we disrupt, how do we innovate, even with ourselves, whenever it's necessary? AUDIENCE: What advice can you share when you inadvertently intimidate people in your professional growth? SHEILA MARCELO: I think that the intimidation can-- oftentime comes across in style. It can also come across in the intelligence and the quickness to get to the heart of the issue. So it's understanding what is your style in triggering others, and starting to journal about it. It doesn't mean changing who you are. But it may be the case that sometimes intimidation is because you're quick to jump to exactly what the answer is, as opposed to bringing and influencing other people along. And posing intelligent questions that allows them to come up with their own ideas and answers. It's less intimidating, and actually you're viewed more as a leader, because you're inspiring them to come up with their own ideas, though you may have already thought about it. And because if you're intelligent enough to know what the answer is 10 steps later, you're also intelligent enough to understand that sometimes, you've got to figure out the steps to guide them there. So it really depends on the situation of the intimidation. It could be stylistic. It could be your voice. It could be the way you dress. And it's trying to really figure that out, and making sure that your journaling about it. I graduated JD MBA from Harvard, and I went to a startup, and I was a product manager. And whenever I got introduced, it automatically would create this intimidation. In fact, years ago, I told my friend that when she applied for a job-- she was also a JD MBA-- I was, like, just leave the JD out. That was really the wrong advice. And now, in hindsight, it's about altering your style. Not changing yourself, but understanding how to relate better to other people to also help guide them. You don't want to act dumb if you're not dumb. You know what I mean? Be smart. That's a strength. AUDIENCE: My question is simple. I think we focus on-- we're trying to look to others to see how we're influencing them, how we're inspiring. Who actually inspires you? Who do you look up to? SHEILA MARCELO: Certainly my mother. Because when she was in her mid 20s, she had six children already. So when I used to complain-- I would say, I'm so tired, I'm doing all this. My mother would give me this look-- like, honey, you have no idea. And she was an entrepreneur. And they just celebrated-- and I just shared it with a friend, right before this-- they just celebrated their 50th anniversary. And so my parents' love truly inspires me, and their loyalty to each other. AUDIENCE: Hi, Sheila. I had a question about-- you briefly spoke about the Impostor Syndrome that so many women go through and you even felt. What are some ways that you could tell us about, or you even go through, to overcome that? SHEILA MARCELO: I have touched on this. The Impostor Syndrome, clinical psychologists have found, actually skews a lot higher with women. This whole self-doubt, especially if you're in a specific position, thinking, I'm really not-- what I did years ago was, I journaled. You probably have gone through this instance where you're in a meeting and you thought of an idea and you could have shared it, but then somebody else mentioned it 10 minutes later. I started to look for affirmations of, really, my knowledge. Affirmations that gave me confidence that I wasn't really being an impostor. If I was an impostor, why would I come up with that idea? Why did I lead that strategy? A good friend of mine, she reminded me years ago to write three things that really went well, that patted myself on the back every day. Those gratifying moments. And it's not, again, to be showy, and to drink my own Kool-Aid. It really is, what three things meant a lot to me that affirmed who I was, what impact I was making on the world and unto others, and really journaling about it three times. And it's a self-fulfilling thing that just gives you a lot more belief and confidence. And just keep going back to that. It actually really works in reprogramming your brain. It's just like exercising and working out. And it becomes a behavior thing that changes. So that whenever you have those negative thoughts and those impostor thoughts go in through your brain, but because you journal about it so much and you re-read it, you go back and look at it so that you're doing it real time at that point. So you've just reprogrammed your brain to say that negative thought, that Sheila voice? Get out of there. I don't need it. I've got other really good thoughts going on right now. Yes. AUDIENCE: To follow up on that discussion of the impostor, and also having your Superwoman moments, you have an amazing resume and amazing credentials. So it's really wonderful to have someone-- to put them in the their place, and have someone say, oh, you must be the assistant, and then you can turn around and say, I'm actually the CEO. How about for women who need to go through certain amounts of preparation or feel like they need to get certain credentials before they can have those moments? What advice would you have for the pre-CEO moment? And then also, how do you balance between being perfect and having the preparation and feeling confident and just having your Superwoman moment? SHEILA MARCELO: That's a really good question. It is that finding that authenticity that-- I actually went through it. Of course, everybody had a pre-CEO moment. I was a young VP at Upromise, and we had a partnership with an external partner. And the VP on the other end was much more experienced than me, and was questioning whether or not my leadership on this integration was the right assignment that the CEO at Upromise gave. And I remember going to the CEO in tears-- he still teases me about this meeting-- in tears, saying, how do I handle this situation? How do I get respected? I'm working in my butt off, and I'm working really hard, and why am I not getting the respect? His name is George Bell, and continues to be my mentor to this day, and said to me, you have to-- and we've heard this before-- you have to earn that respect by not necessarily-- it's not a stamp. It's how you carry yourself from here. And this, to this day, has stayed with me, this advice. How do you bring out that authentic, bold self? That inner confidence? Doesn't matter what your resume is. That you don't need to drink the Kool-Aid to feel good about yourself. What is it that's in here? And people around you feel it. They feel this inner strength and this inner confidence, because it's real. But it is a journey to get there. And in leadership, people want to be around you, because you're authentic you. And it doesn't matter where I went to school. None of that matters, because it means that I treat everybody the same way-- with respect. Listening. And so, it's about you, and building that. We've got a young woman in the company-- exceptionally bright, incredibly charismatic. And I said to her, you bring so much of that charisma. But she's over-projecting right now, because she's trying to figure out, how do I influence? And one of the things we're talking about is, what's that inner authentic boldness? Do I have the answers for you specifically about that? No. You're going to have to journal about it. But I've given her the goal to say, what is that inner authentic boldness that's you, that comes out and it shines? And you'll find that when you find that, you'll have a skip in your step, and you'll know that that's you. And it is a journey. And I think some of you are nodding. And it's not easy. But journal about it. Journal about the great moments when you came out of a meeting and say, God, I got that right. That went well. That felt good. Why? What happened? How did you carry yourself? How were you listening? How did you summarize the points? Did you speak last? Did you worry less about what you were trying to impress everybody in the room, but instead you did such a great job truly leading it that then everybody felt good, and you felt good? What are those moments, and how do you repeat them? And they become behavioral changes in your style. And that just takes time. And it is a journey. MODERATOR: Sheila, you talked about moving from success-- which you've clearly achieved-- to significance, which it seems like you're really doing, by participating in these conversations that you're having with leaders of countries. I'm curious to learn more about the White House Summit, and what your goals were in participating in that, and anything that you experienced or learned there. SHEILA MARCELO: Yeah, sure. A friend of mine, Tina Brown, was in the audience-- I just saw her this past weekend-- and complimented me for being on stage to share our mission at Care. And it is to professionalize care giving. And because I believe in it so much. I was born and raised in the Philippines, and so many caregivers-- and this is beyond the Philippines-- but so many caregivers are from the Philippines, and from developed countries around the world. And sometimes I'm in professional settings, and I remind people that these women give up their lives and their own children in their home countries to take care of your children. And that is a big, big sacrifice. And how do we professionalize that? How do we make sure that they're valued? And why do I care? Not just in business terms, but because we will have serious societal issues. We will have a shortage of care. But it's also a great business thing. Because if we have shortage of caregivers, then of course Care.com is not going to grow. But it's not the main reason that I got into this. I got into this because I have such this passion and this belief of making sure that we are treating them with respect. So with the White House, it is about everything-- addressing minimum wage, specifically, and professionalizing care giving. Home Pay, which is the largest household payroll tax company, that we run at Care.com. How do we make it clear that families should pay above board, to provide their caregivers benefits? And then on the family side, how do you, as an employee, make sure that you're getting the benefits that you need? Because so much-- and I've explained this to world leaders, and they get it-- is that, what drives GDP growth is jobs. And if you want more women to work, you must invest in a care infrastructure, whether you're the government or whether you're employers. If we want diversity in the workplace, you must have care. Because there is such a co-dependency. You can't go to work if you don't have peace of mind at home. And you can't afford great care unless you're working. They've got to work to make sure that that happens. So that combination is something that-- it's a powerful mission that we have at Care.com. AUDIENCE: You talk about pleasing, perfection, and passivity, and it's clear that your pinayness shows through those P's. SHEILA MARCELO: Pinayness is a Filipina. AUDIENCE: It's a Filipina. How are you convincing pinays to pinay up? SHEILA MARCELO: I'm actually doing quite a bit in the Philippines. I'm on the Philippine Development Foundation. I also help put together a female CEO group in the Philippines. We're up about 100 now. Whenever I go home to the Philippines, which is about three times a year, we regroup. I was just there to talk about it. I'm also convincing them-- anybody who is interested in working on a project like this-- to develop-- do you remember that "Got Milk?" campaign? I'm always advocating this. You have celebrities to drink milk, and the dairy industry can afford it, and it's great. One of the things is, the Philippines is one of the countries in Asia with the narrowest gender gap. It's the only Asian country in the top 10, where the Scandinavian countries are, because there's a cultural heritage around a very matriarchal society. And I have heard Japanese women speak, to say, when we see Filipino women, it inspires us that we can ourselves lead. So one of the things I'm trying to encourage the Asian countries, especially the Philippines, is to showcase these role models of female leadership. To woman up. To raise your hand up high. To develop this "Got Milk?" campaign. We've got an agency in the Philippines. We're starting to think about it. It's a fun project. But how do we encourage more women to help other women? As Madeleine Albright said, there's a place in hell for women who don't help other women. MODERATOR: OK. So, I think-- oh, there's one last question. OK. AUDIENCE: It's clear that you've gone from one success to another. I'm very curious to see, what do think of as success in your own life? What keeps you motivated to go after the next thing? And if you ever feel like, I'm done? SHEILA MARCELO: No. The key drivers for me is really my family. The key successes for me is milestone-- I got pregnant at a very young age. And seeing my son graduate from college is a very big deal for my husband and I. Seeing my parents-- they also got married when they were teenagers. They hit their 50-year milestone, and now we're 35 in the clan. Those are the things that keep my North Star, keep me focused. I have this policy that I don't talk about Care at home, and I don't talk about it with my family. So that I'm not drinking my own Kool-Aid. I am just Sheila, everywhere I go that I spend time with my family and friends. That it is not about the company, or the definition of what we're doing. Because at Care, it is actually what we're doing for others, as opposed to some leadership position that I'm getting some fulfillment out of. [APPLAUSE]