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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is usually undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another. It is often perpetrated using force or by taking advantage of another.[1] When force is immediate, of short duration, or infrequent, it is called sexual assault[citation needed]. The offender is referred to as a sexual abuser or (often pejoratively) molester.[2] The term also covers any behavior by an adult or older adolescent towards a child to stimulate any of the involved sexually. The use of a child, or other individuals younger than the age of consent, for sexual stimulation is referred to as child sexual abuse or statutory rape.

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  • ✪ Childhood Sexual Abuse and Narcissistic Parents
  • ✪ Narcissists & Sexual Abuse in Toxic Relationships: No Legally Means No, Even If You're Married
  • ✪ How to Talk with Kids About Sexual Abuse

Transcription

Athena: Aloha everyone. How are you? Bobbi: Hi everybody. Good evening. Athena: Welcome to the very first Google Hangout for NoMoreShame November. I’m Athena Moberg, for those of you who are not familiar with our broadcast, this is Bobbi Parish. We are trauma recovery coaches and we love to talk to survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This broadcast tonight specifically be talking about narcissistic parents and how they play a role in the lives of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and the role they played when you were a child, whether it was them being an abuser or someone who enabled the abuse. Bobbi, I think you have something special to show everyone in honor of NoMoreShame November. Bobbi: Yes. I would like to share with everyone, Athena and all her talentedness, made this awesome button that you can share. Can you see it Athena? Athena: I can. It looks awesome. Bobbi: Okay. It is on our website, nomoreshameproject.com and then you will see multiple tabs up in the top right hand corner. Click on the one that says ‘pinnables’. So nomoreshameproject.com/pinnables and you’ll see it right there. Just right click, save it, you can make it your Twitter avatar, your Facebook avatar, you can post it as a picture on Facebook, whatever it is that you want to do to share that. We would love that. Just to raise awareness on childhood sexual abuse and everything that survivors go through and they are now and what their recovery entails. I know it’s hard to ask people to do it for the whole month, but we would specially love it if you would do that on November 17, which is the day that the first Anthology for survivor stories comes out, published by the NoMoreShame Project. So to honor that and celebrate that, we’d love it if you could use that avatar on that day. And it’s so fun to see them start popping out. Athena: I know. I wanted to share something to everybody really quick before we transition into our welcomes and to all of our different listeners and subscribers. So there is a tab on our website, which is nomoreshameproject.com and the tab says NoMoreShame November. If you hover your mouse or click on NoMoreShame November, there is a little tab there that says ‘grab our button’. You can literally click on that that says ‘grab our button’ and there is code for you to paste on the widget section of your WordPress sites or if you do this tiny little tweek, if you’re on a Blogger site, you can actually put it on your Blogger site as well. So again, nomoreshameproject.com, little tab at the top that says NoMoreShame November or hash tags – that’s been registered in case you’re wondering – it’s #NMSN14 which stands for #NoMoreShame November 2014. You will see a lot of those popping up. Oh what did you say, Bobbi? Bobbi: I was just to say not to be confused with next year’s NoMoreShame November and the year after that and the year after that. Athena: Correct. Yeah. So, we’re really excited. If you’re just tuning in, I’m Athena Moberg and this is Bobbi Parish. We’re trauma recovery coaches and we focus on adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I specifically want to do a very, very special welcome to anyone who is listening in on a podcast. This is actually a video that we are recording and you are listening to the audio. So, you’re going to hear us talking with our hands and referring to slides and what I would love for you to do if you get an opportunity, as a thank you for being one of our loyal subscribers or just one of our loyal listeners or amazing survivors, every single week, we have a OnePage PDF downloadable resource that is complimentary and it always matches up with the topic that we are discussing each and every week. So if you go to nomoreshameproject.com, there will be a button at the top, a little tab and it will say downloadables. If you click on the little button that says downloadables, you will get immediate access to not only this week’s complimentary downloadable PDF resource that matches up with this week’s topic which is narcissistic parents, but you will have access to our entire library of PDF downloads and that’s just complimentary as a thank you to you for being one of our amazing survivors or loyal listeners, watchers or subscribers. I believe besides shouting out to everyone who’s listening in the UK right now because it’s 2-3 in the morning on Thursday. You guys are rock stars. We love you every week. I just wanted to really quickly plug our YouTube channel. We don’t have one of those fancy names like YouTube.com/nomoreshameproject. We haven’t got that fancy yet but what you can do is search for #NoMoreShame or even #NMS14 which is our registered hashtag for NoMoreShame November. You will see our entire video library of amazing, long videos that are educational and our desire is always for this to be your most educational hour of the week, where you get the support you need for healthy, informed trauma recovery. With that, I’m going to turn this over to Bobbi Parish and we will dig right into content. We just really want to welcome if you’re listening in from iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud or I Heart Radio or if you’ve somehow tuned into us like years down the road and you happen to be trying to find us. You can always find us at nomoreshameproject.com. Take it away Bobbi. Bobbi: This might seem a very specific topic but we wanted to do a whole hour long on this because as we work with more and more survivors, we find that more and more survivors have at least one parent that is narcissistic and that parent can reach such havoc in the life of the child. I find this especially true with narcissistic mothers and their daughters. It very frequently happens that an abused child, whether sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse or neglect, it often have at least one narcissistic parent. It’s hard to have 2 narcissistic parents. Athena and I were talking about this earlier today because a narcissistic person is very volatile and they create a lot of chaos. So when you put of them together, it’s like putting together a hurricane and tornado and they just clash with each other so badly that they don’t stay together very long. Usually, you got one and it can be devastating to the way that the child develops in their life. So we want to focus on this and hope you understand what causes narcissism. It helps you identify, do you have a narcissistic parent, how it that affect you and what you can do now about it. Athena: Hey Bobbi, while you’re bringing up that downloadable resource, what I like to do is I want to address a topic, sort of preemptively, while we’re digging in to this topic of narcissism and I know that the word narcissistic or narcissism is sort of thrown around a lot like in different communities or certain social circles and what people use it as is sort of weapon to tell somebody that they’re considered stuck up or whatever to stuck on themselves, but I really want to make sure that the people listening right now, if you’re a survivor or if you have a loved one who is a survivor, and you happen to think that the word narcissistic or narcissism is something like telling someone that they are egotistical, that is specifically not what we are talking about. What we are referring to is a personality disorder. It is something that is ingrained into a person and they actually take on these character traits by the time they are between 5 years old and younger and they have developed a full-blown personality, that’s why they’re called narcissistic personality disorder or we are talking about parents that have personality traits of someone who is narcissistic. So, this isn’t just a buzz word that we’re using to punish people that weren’t nice to us. This is actually a clinical name that is known in the mental health community. It is an actual personality disorder, more than personality disorder. If you’ve heard of different words that describe people’s personality, that’s specifically what we’re talking about. We’re not just talking about people who are mean or stuck on themselves. I just want to make sure everybody knew that’s what we’re talking about. Bobbi: We’re talking about someone who in a moment or two, every week, appears to be selfish. For someone to have narcissistic personality disorder, we’re talking about like Athena said, someone that this is heavily ingrained in their personality. This is the way they function 24/7. They don’t know the different way. They don’t know a better way. They typically don’t want help in changing but if they were to get help to try and change, it requires long term significant therapy. Because you’re talking about reconstructing someone’s personality and that is hard. The brain is plastic but that requires a lot of plasticity. Athena: Yes, and we’re not referring to parents of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse as being narcissistic as saying that they strategically planned to do things on purpose to people. They don’t know that they have this personality disorder. They don’t know that this is even something that is a thing or a problem because it’s not just how their brain works. Their brain doesn’t really have plasticity, as Bobbi was saying, to even conceptualize the fact that this could be a thing that could be changed because part of their narcissistic personality disorder is actually thinking that the way you do things is like the only way things should ever be done. Bobbi: Exactly. It actually makes personality disorder self-reinforcing. And like I said, it’s very hard to convince someone who has narcissistic personality disorder that they need help and when you do, more often, it’s because they have blown their life to bits with their narcissism and they are just at their with ins because everything has fallen apart in their hands. Now, we are giving a bonus point tonight for everyone who can pronounce narcissism and spell it correctly. Athena: I had a hard time. I’m really grateful for spellcheck. Bobbi: I know. It took me a while in typing up the text for this. I got it down but I got a little red outline flashing at me ‘you’re spelling it wrong, you’re spelling it wrong’ and just kind of an interesting note that narcissism – that word comes from the myth about the young man named Narcissis. Have you heard this Athena? Athena: I have. My name is Greek and I often get asked “Oh Athena, what a beautiful name. Are you Greek” Yeah, with all of my blonde hair and green eyes. I am familiar with the mythological character Narcissis. Bobbi: Yes and he thought that he was all that in a bag of chips as they say and he saw his reflection in the water and he was upset that there might be someone as beautiful as he is and he jumped into the water to defeat this person and there is drowning. So his narcissism was his own and doing, which is often the case. Athena: I wanted to ask a question just before we dive in to the OnePage. If you’re just tuning in, we are getting ready to dive in to content regarding survivors and narcissistic parents. As thank you for being a listener or a watcher or a subscriber, there’s a complimentary downloadable resource at nomoreshameproject.com and there’s a little tab at the top that says downloadables. You’ll get instant access to this worksheet which is aOnePage resource as well as our entire library. That’s just our gift to you. Bobbi, what I wanted to ask you super, duper quick, you said something a few moments ago that sort of hit me, sort of ping me a little bit and like turned on a light bulb. So you’re saying that often times, parents or people that have narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits, they often times do not know that they need help and when they finally realize they do or they decide to reach out for help, it is because their entire life has come blowing down around them or has been blown to bits, so you say. And I’ve known not to be very true with the narcissistic people that I’m contact with. Bobbi: Right. Others destroyed their lives, their careers, their relationships, with their narcissistic behavior and they can’t figure out what happened. They don’t come in to the doctor or the psychologist office, therapist office and say “Hi, I’m a narcissist and I need help.” They’ll come in and say “I don’t know why people don’t listen to me. I have all the answers. I need you to help me figure out how to convince others.” I’m also a marriage therapist and this is the kind of person who will come into a couple’s counseling session and say “Would you please talk to my wife or would you please talk to my husband and explain to him why he’s wrong?” Of course, that really works very well in marriage counseling. Athena: Hey Bobbi, would you page up just a little bit on the OnePage so that we can see the very top? Not the part with the title. I just couldn’t read the first couple sentences, that’s all. Bobbi: Okay, so let’s talk about this. Like we said, there is usually at least one narcissist parent. Now, this is not the case in every situation especially when your abuser was not in your family or was not closely related to your family. So, if you were abused by a baby sitter, a coach, you don’t find this as frequently, most often you will see this when one of your abusers is in the family of origin. You’re abuser can be the narcissist or they can be one of your parents who by virtue of them so being wrapped up of themselves or by virtue of their lack of empathy or their general “I don’t care what happens to you”, they allow the abuse to happen or as we look at here in a minute, narcissists are good are creating chaos. So they create so much chaos in their own little whirlwind and they don’t even begin to see that their child is being abused right underneath their eyes. So, these are the qualities of a narcissist. The first one is a powerful need for admiration or praise. When we say a powerful need, we mean a powerful need. They will seek this out. This is their food. They can’t thrive; they can’t survive unless they’re constantly being fed with praise and admiration. It’s like they have a black hole inside them that can never possibly be filled up and to be honest, it can’t. That’s not like they have appointment to go “Okay I could have been praised. I’m good. I don’t need anymore.” Nope. You can praise them 24//7 and they still don’t feel full. They still want more. A tendency to make up grand fantasies about how wonderful they are and how incredible their life is…Athena, you and I have talked about this one before and I know you have some experience with this one and I want you to share it because it makes it very relatable. Athena: Okay. The way that I can relate to this is I have a family member that was not my sexual abuser but enabled my abuse. When I would start putting pieces together or ask questions about something that help me put pieces together or whenever things were just crossing along very, very, very calmly or I started feeling a little bit like I was starting to see a light inside the tunnel regarding my life not being chaotic or starting to put pieces together about my abuse, this person would almost interrupt me, not only with the need to be praised and so on and so forth which is so true, but they would interrupt me like “don’t you remember the time that we would go the beach together, we ate together, we went to this restaurant together, we did these things together, do you remember that outfit you wore, don’t you know how nice that was, do you remember this” and it was almost like they had manufactured and created this entire world of memories that were not the memories that I had because the memories I had, I actually had the person down 15 years ago, which this is actually a gift. If you’re listening in and you don’t think that there’s any type of gift in the abuse that you experienced, I’m here to tell you that I have completely transformed my entire life because of the abuse I incurred and this moment in time that I’m about to share with you as a part of this whole manufactured story and fairytale about my life which was really wasn’t true, it was just a diversion. This actually catapulted me into studying personal and professional development with every waking hour of my life. This became my passion because of this moment. So, I had to sit my family member down and I had to say “Listen” and I had just a breast biopsy and they thought that I had cancer but that’s not the case. I didn’t have cancer but I just wanted to tell them that the manufactured story that they had been telling me wasn’t true. So I have to sit with this person down and say “It is not about you. This is about me and what I need to tell you is, all these stories that you’ve been telling for all these years, they might be true partially, but the real truth is underneath the layers. I remember all of it. I just don’t remember these pretty little parts that you want to sprinkle on the top like fairy dust. I remember the deep stuff. I remember really horrific things. I remember torture. I remember abuse. I remember being used as a yard worker, being forced to be out on the sun with no food. I remember throwing up because the food was spoiled. I remember not having proper care or not being taught how to groom or bathe or anything that was basic need for food, shelter, love, affection and water.” I had to literally spell this out to this person. “No, I realize you’re painting this picture that that is not the real picture. That’s just the glaze on top of what’s really real.” And the response that this person gave me will really drive the point home to you on what a narcissistic personality can do to someone. Their response was not “I’m sorry.” Their response was not “Let’s talk about this.” Their response was “Well, I certainly hope you’re having this conversation with somebody else,” only because they were involved with it. That was their response. And so I had to then say, when I have this discussion with these other people, “This is about me and you. That’s what this is about.” And, I have to tell you that it took me a lot of courage to have this conversation and I’m not patting myself on the back and hurting myself by saying I’m so great but what I’m telling you right now is that I was terrified. That was the serious moment of my life, worse than any abuse that I incurred because it was real and it was now and it took a lot of courage to stand up to that person, and it didn’t go well. We literally didn’t speak for weeks and weeks and weeks, they wouldn’t speak to me. They wouldn’t answer my calls. There was no talking. There was no communication at all. Bobbi: You were shunned off. Athena: I was completely shunned and that’s okay because it was probably very painful. However, this person did end up coming back around and ended up saying “I have to just commend you. You’re so amazing. It took so much courage for you to tell me these words. I wish that I could be just like you. I want to be just like you.” And they turned all around on me. That moment in time, when I got to stand up to that person and say “No, no, no, you’re imaginary fantasy land is not real. The real, real is the other stuff that could have happened in.” That freed me, guys, that’s what I’m trying to say. It freed me. I bought a self-help book. I started reading my bible. I was going to counseling for the first time in my entire life and realizing that things that are going on in my life right actually had to do with back then when I was younger which I had no clue that that’s the case. I learned what the word “codependency” means. I started studying the human brain and how trauma affects the brain and how it shows up in our daily lives, professionally, personally and in our inter-personal relationships. That was a turning point in me, mothering my son in a way that was proactively healthy so I was positive, so that I would not continue to perpetuate the cycle of unhealthiness, dysfunction and abuse. So this moment in time when I got to say, “No, you narcissistic person in my life that enabled all these horrible stuff to happen to me, no, you’re world is not true. I am here to tell you that I remember all and on top of all of that, I forgive you. I forgive you because I care about my health more than I care about what happened. I want to be healthy now and I want to have a relationship with you now. I want to move past this, move forward and I want to devote my life in a different direction to helping other people understand that.” So, good can come out of bad even if you had narcissistic family members and I’m a living proof of that. I’m going to turn this back to Bobbi because I feel like I’m completely hijacking the entire Google Hangout. Thank you for asking me to share because that is very real. Bobbi: It happens often when we go to disclose our abuse and our family look at us like we’ve grown 2 horns and a tail. But that’s not the way it was. “We had a perfect family. Everything was wonderful. What’s the matter with you?” They may have been a moment or two that were very pretty. And, it can take you aback. You have to realize that for people who are narcissistic, they don’t truly see that ugliness. They’re world looks the way it looks inside their head and so when you do come to disclose and confront them, they are truly puzzled. Well, they behaved like they’re puzzled. They have the most wonderful world inside their head. Okay, this next one is a hard one but this is a key characteristic of narcissism. This is also a key characteristic of sociopathy and psychopathy. So, narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths – all three – they’re the most dangerous predators out there because they have no empathy. Zero capacity to empathize with other people. So, if you’re being hurt, if you’re being abused and you’re there sitting in front of them, they will just look at you. “Hmm, what happened to you?” Athena: They’ll say something like “Why don’t you wipe that look off your face before I give you something to cry about?” Bobbi: Right. Or “Go fix your hair. What’s the matter with you? You’re embarrassing me.” Athena: Yeah. “You’re embarrassing me. Go brush your hair. What did you do to your hair?” Bobbi: Exactly. We’re talking last night in chat and this is an interesting thing to bring up because we have a lot of people last night in chat who wanted to know if they had narcissistic personality disorder or they had narcissistic personality traits because we were so used to being, as children, we were told time and time again that our desire to be cared for, to be nurtured, to be looked after, was selfish. Our chat last night was the one that has affected me the most of any that we’ve had because it helped me put puzzle pieces together. And when people talked about how they were told they were selfish when they express an emotional or physical need as a child, that really resonated with me. I’m very conscious of not wanting to be selfish, not expressing a need or want because that’s wrong. And so people did. They wanted to know, do I have narcissist personality disorder, and like Athena mentioned earlier, our personality is generally formed. They’re set between 5 and 6 years old so if you do not have narcissistic personality disorder by the time you’re an adult, you’re not going to have it. Could you have some narcissistic personality traits? Perhaps, but I’m willing to bet that you would know that because someone would have clearly told you. You would have unhealthy relationships. People will constantly tell you “You’re arrogant. You’re selfish. You never think of anyone but you. Why can’t you understand that this is hurtful or harmful to someone else?” I would venture to bet that if you narcissistic personality traits, someone would have stood in front of you and let you know long before the age that you are now. What do you think Athena? That does kind of address that concern that people voiced last night? Athena: Definitely. We’d several people last night. It was really great to see light bulbs coming on. If you’re wondering what chat we’re talking about, back in January 2014, several months back, our very dear friend Rachel Thompson and our very own Bobbi Parish started what’s called sex abuse chat and so you do the hash tag or pound sign or tic-tac-toe and type in sexabusechat. You could Google that if you want to. It will just take it to Twitter. Or if you’re already in Twitter, you just type that in and you just look through the hash tag and look through all the messages and every Tuesday at 6pm PST, 9pm EST or I believe it’s 2am on Thursday in the UK, you can actually follow along with all the things we’re talking about here. We usually do a recap on Wednesdays and talk about chat a lot. But last night, there was one comment that really just stood out to me and really stood out to me and really just made the entire evening so beautiful. One of the newer gals out there and her name is Pepper and she said, can you hear the sound of the change coming off of me right now? She was just being completely set free. And my response was, I can hear the sound of captive being set free. Because it was a light bold moment for her where she actually heard the word she needed to hear that all of the things that happened to her were not her fault. She wasn’t the selfish one. Her mother used to tell her when she was growing up, “You daughter, you’re the girl in high school I hated. Your personality is the girl in high school that I hated. That’s who you are.” And so, this gal was just sharing like “Wow, this isn’t just me. I understand. There’s a name for this. Other people had experienced this.” I recently had a conversation with my family member that has narcissistic personality traits and I had to share with them, I need to limit communication with you right now because I’m at a point in my recovery, Bobbi and I are still recovering along with everyone else. It’s a slow process. We’ve not arrived. We’re here to tell you that we’re walking alongside with you. We’re called coaches. We’re mentors. We’re living proof that there is life after being curled up in a little bowl and wanting to die. We’re fully functioning and going through recovery. So I had to tell this family member of mine that the words they use when they talk really shred me. They really rip me down and tear me down and that I needed to limit contact with them in order to have a healthy life. That was a very hard thing for me to do because a lot of survivors, myself included, really struggle with people pleaser mentality – your role in the entire family is to keep everyone together or be as perfect as possible. You need to be perfect and good especially if you have that narcissistic parent always telling you that you weren’t enough, you were selfish for wanting food or you’re selfish for not wanting to be beaten or hit or treated poorly. You just want to please them so that hopefully, it would be enough and it’s never ever, ever, ever enough. Just hearing that last night Bobbi, hearing her say, “Can you hear the sound of change coming off of me?” I just get like teary-eyed and I had been thinking about it because it is so true. When you’re at that point in your recovery, when you’re like you’re making this progress and then something just clicked. Bobbi: The puzzle pieces set into place and you’re like, oh my goodness, it wasn’t about me. And I think that’s one of the most incredible pieces of recovery that I love to watch survivors put together. It’s that realization that they were not abused because of anything they did. That it was about their abuser. It was their abuser’s issue. Their abuser is fully and completely responsible for having done what they did and whoever facilitated or enabled the abuse, that all belongs on them. There is nothing that child could have done, sort of running away. Small children couldn’t do that because they have to care for themselves. Athena: Oh, but we fantasize about it. At least, I did. I have my little pink pack, my little pillow case on my stick. I usually pretend that I was going to run away with the pillow case on the stick like you can see on the cartoons. Bobbi: Okay, let’s keep going. I think you can tell, this was a huge topic for us and we might have to come back to it again. More about the narcissists – they have the belief that they are the most important person in the lives of anyone who knows them or encounters them. So they’re the most important person in the family. If they go to the grocery store, they’re the most important. They will cut in front of other people in line. They will treat people badly, whatever it takes because they are the most important person and they will command that attention. They have a large ego that leaves others thinking. They’re arrogant and selfish. They have a snobbish or condescending attitude towards others. And this is a hard one, I think especially for children because condescension is a tiny bit of a complex behavior and the intention versus the tone of voice, all of that is a little hard for a child to decipher. Their cognitive abilities aren’t quite there and so when you’re condescending to a child, it’s very confusing. Athena: It is because they think you’re being nice to them, like “Oh, is that what you need? Let me help you with that.” And they think that you’re being nice but you’re really not. Bobbi: Right. Athena and I have talked about this a lot. I think at some time, we need to do a Hangout on abuser trips and tactics because this is a common one. Do you want this? Do you want to come here? Do you want to get this? I have this for you and then you come close enough and smack. It’s that, “Come here, I want to be nice, I want to love you. Come.” And of course, what child is not going to come and as soon as you get within an arm’s reach, wack upside the head because that’s all they’re trying to do. They lure you into being harmed. Athena: Or even not always whap upside the head. It could be “get into my car” or it could be “let’s go back here” or it could be “listen, if you tell, I will hurt your family members”. There you go, here’s what you wanted. Go along with that little information. So they use that condescension. I wrote a piece recently that was published on the flaunt and it was about domestic violence and my recounting domestic violence that I witnessed when I was younger and I described this, that Bobbi and I are talking about right now as though a switch is magically flipped because they’ll be talking normal and then out of nowhere, click “Oh, okay” and they’re instantly calm and it’s that condescending tone and you literally, when you’re a child, can’t possibly think that that tone could mean something bad because it’s a nice tone and like Bobbi said, it’s a very complex personality trait or like a tactic. That’s why scary movies aren’t scary movies when they have child-like themes like clowns because when you’re a child, a clown is sweet and funny and nice and they have a red nose. And there’s like horror movies about stuff like this. It’s like they flipped it like a switch. What we thought was good is really evil. And, it can be really traumatizing. It will trigger you for years. Bobbi: Right and then for every point there on, once you get a little older and that groove has been set in your brain, from that point on, anytime someone speaks to you in a condescending tone, you guard yourself because you know that as a child, you were taught that with that tone of voice, with that condescension comes harm. And so you know that condescension is not a nice thing, but it doesn’t always mean that someone is going to harm you. So it’s okay for your senses to be alerted when someone uses a condescending tone of voice. But to completely bad already, we need to learn how to step that reaction down a bit because it’s exhausting. Athena: It is and I think it’s worth mentioning as you’re switching back over to the OnePage, that being guarded and prepared for someone in dealing with condescending tone or with someone that is having some sort of a tactic like that, there’s a difference between feeling that way and prepared and being hyper-vigilant. Bobbi: Right. Hyper-vigilant is an exhausting thing. The next one on our list is a large sense of entitlement. You own, I deserve this, you ruined my night by doing that and I deserve to have this, that and other things. Images in my head come to a parent wanting to watch something on television and a child makes a noise. I deserve this time, I’m entitled to it, smack, go away. Athena: Of if they come down ill or when a child comes down sick, they said they wanted to be sick or something. Bobbi: Yes and this is another big one. I think, this along with no empathy and the large ego, this is another key trait: a tendency to create or attract chaos wherever they go. The reason for that one is that narcissists have to be the center of attention. They just have to because that’s what they need to fill that black hole inside them that’s endless and bottomless. When that center of attention is not on them, they will do what’s necessary to bring the center of attention back to them and they ideally would like positive attention but they’ll take negative attention, if that’s what’s needed. We were talking earlier today about say for example there is a birthday party. I’m the child and it’s my birthday party. The narcissistic parent is not going to like the attention to be on me so if that’s what is happening, he or she is going to act out. They’re going to try to get positive reinforcement “Hey, let me tell you all what I did work this week. Let me tell you about the awesome things I did.” And if that doesn’t work, then they’re going to create chaos. They’re going to drop a casual dish. They’re going to accidently fall down. They’re going to accidently cut themselves. They’re going to do whatever they need to create chaos to attract attention away from that birthday person. Athena: I have a question. Bobbi: Yes. Athena: I love it when you do stories like this because it always sparks memories for me. I remember I was never allowed to attend birthday parties when I was a child. I was rarely ever allowed to attend any type of activities like that and I remember I was never allowed to have a birthday party. And the one time I did have a birthday party, I believe I was 14, and it ended up a complete fiasco like we all ended up having to leave my house because there was a fight going on at my house. It ended up with just very inappropriate things going on and I had people that were not even allowed to attend my party because they knew that my house was that house. Yeah, the light bulb just came on for me when you said that and I also had like, when you and I are sharing off the air, I had a very big day over the past few years. I had a very, very, very big day that was supposed to be my day. I had family members that were there that instantly do have narcissistic personality traits and they made sure that even though it was my wedding day, that the attention was on them, in photographs, in interactions, throughout the day like it was just all about them. It was really painful for me and it happened to me on my birthday several times here as well. It’s like that person always wanted to make sure there is some sort of chaos or some sort of thing that happened that made it all about them on my birthday. It was all about them on my birthday and it could never be about the fact that it was just my birthday. I just wanted to have a barbeque or go to the beach and hangout and do nothing. Bobbi: Right and it’s so interesting for us as survivors because I think when we talked about this last night in chat, narcissism is an extreme. It’s a personality extreme. As survivors, we tend to go to the other end. I can tell you, I don’t like attention. I would rather not have it. But if I have to have it, I want it because I did something good. I would rather crawl under my bed and live there for 2 months than have attention for something that I did that wasn’t right. But a narcissist, they wouldn’t care. They would prefer attention because they did something, in their eyes, that’s good although some of us wonder about whether that’s good. But if they’re going to get attention, they will take negative attention over no attention any day. It’s hard for us to understand that because as survivors, we’re used to trying to be invisible. We never want to call attention to ourselves especially negative attention because often that meant that we’ve got hit or beaten or abused. And so, the dichotomy, it really use the dichotomy and it’s hard for us survivors to understand that narcissism but it’s important because like Pepper was saying last night in chat, now she gets it and she understands it wasn’t about her. It was about this parent that had this disorder who wouldn’t have any responsibility for trying to fix. Athena: While you bring up the OnePage Bobbi, I’m going to step away from our chat for just a moment. My computer for some reason is acting a little funny so go ahead and take it away and go back to our OnePage and I’ll just be right back in a moment. Bobbi: Okay, the next tendency that you’ll see is a lot of envy. You won’t actually hear them say “I’m jealous and so and so. I’m envious and so and so.” You’ll see it in their behavior. It oftentimes that one ups man ship that you will see and by that I mean the jones has got a new barbeque grill. Isn’t it nice? And then that particular person, the narcissist, has to go out and they have to buy a barbeque grill that is steep higher. Their employee at work got the latest iPhone. They have to go out and buy the next level. It has be to tricked out, customized, had to be better than everyone else’s because they’re entitled, because they’re important and they’re worth it. And the last one: a tendency to exploit others for their own gain. And this is something that is still a lot within abusive families. The narcissistic parent, who use their children for their own gain and whether that means that they will use the child to go out and get something, they’ll use the child to rug drugs, they’ll use the child to go out and earn money. Sometimes there are children who are in lower-income families come home with backpacks full of food for the weekend, they’ll take the child’s food, the child gets nothing. Athena: Oh gosh, Bobbi I feel I miss something key because you’re talking about something I have experience with. What did I miss? Bobbi: We’re talking about the tendency to exploit others for their own gain. I know that I talked before in chat about my family situation or family origin. My parents didn’t really enjoy all that much interacting with each other, so one of my parents gave me to my other parent who abused me in order for them not have to deal with that parent. So it’s like an exchange here. Take her, do whatever you want with her, just leave me alone. It didn’t face them. They had no empathy, they had no problem with it, it was fine. It was a trade. And in that way, that parent of mine could go on with their life and do what they wanted to do without the inconvenience with having to interact with my other parent. Did you get your problem solved ma’am? Athena: I did. I have a MacBook Pro and my battery was doing really, really good but for some reason, it just drained super, duper fast. I really wanted to be mindful and I didn’t want the broadcast to stop in the middle of our teaching. So, yeah, I definitely just wanted to comment really quickly, I know we have 10 minutes left of our teaching’s night on the topic of narcissistic parents having the capacity to exploit their children for their own gain and not really have any type of remorse or empathy about that. I know I’ve been going through some really intense, deep, deep, deep counseling lately and I’ve been having some really specific memories about family member of mine who actually sort of step me, like brought me along and dressed me up so to speak so that I would catch the eye of someone who was much older, like about twice my age. Bobbi: And you were a child, right? Athena: I was a child, I believe if my memories serve me correctly because I specifically remember the outfit that I was wearing. I didn’t even know why. I was so excited to receive this outfit. It was so cute and it was like this olive green, sort of one-piece little with black polka dots and I feel it’s pretty. But I incidentally got taken on what I thought was going to be like really awesome one-on-one time, like “Oh I get to go to this salon. I get to go pretty.” I was just like, wow, this is what really little girls get to do.” I kind of thought that it was turning of the corner but again it’s that “Come here, come closer, whap.” So what I didn’t realize at that time and I sort of not wanted to really focus on this memory, it was really painful for me to think about, but I was actually prettied up and dressed up in order to be exploited and to be sort of lent our or traded. I know that sounds a little hard to grasp and for those of you who are listening, you’re kind of like “really, are you kidding me?” But I’m here to tell you the truth is often more crazy than fiction and I specifically remember the gentleman’s name that I got sent out on a “date” with and his name is Nicky and he was twice my age. I believe I was 14 or 15 years old and I was brought along to hang out in this place in order to earn the favor of this business owner so that my narcissistic family member could receive complimentary services or favored treatment or popularity or could be looked upon with favor because I was so pretty. And to know that I was sort of dressed up like a little doll like, here look at her, isn’t she pretty? She belongs to me, would you like to borrow her? That was really painful for me to understand and for me to grasp and for me to believe to the point where, I don’t know what day you’re listening to this broadcast or watching if you’re live, I know we have some viewers right now, I have to tell you that to really grasp the fact that you were like dressed up and traded out and pimped if you will, it’s really painful and the amount of self-loathing and disgust that was going through me, when I was having these memories and going through this deep, deep, deep healing and counseling regarding this topic, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t sit on the couch, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t function. I had plans to go out with one of my girlfriends, Claudia, and meet up with her and have like a girl’s evening, I had to cancel on her, I was literally in a complete and total wreck. And the only way I could describe it to my husband broke his heart because he’s walking through this recovery with me. The only I could describe it to him through all of my sobbing and weeping and just self-loathing, I told him that I wish I could shower for a week because I just felt so disgusting and I’m 100% that if you really knew the degree in which I had been tasted, that he wouldn’t love me anymore. And he just grabbed my face and he looks like he is going to cry along with me and said, “That’s just not true. I love you no matter what and that is not true. That’s a lie and I need you to know I love you and that’s just in the past and this was done to you. You are not the abuse that happened to you. You are not here with me to be exploited and lent out to others in return for services or to make me look good. You’re not a trophy life. You’re my beloved and I am here for you. You’re safe now.” Those are words that I really needed to hear to heal because I’m here to tell you, men, women, whoever you are, if you have ever been traded for services or went out or dressed up and sort of exploited by one of your family members, and you know what that pain feels like, can you please just reach out to me. Can you please reach out to Bobbi and me? This is why we’re doing trauma recovery. We have so much more content to go through but I just needed to share that part of my story with you. This is the very first time that I’ve shared that part of my story publicly and it will be included in our Anthology coming up. I’ll be touching on that in our Anthology which is to be published on November 17. Bobbi, why don’t we go back to that OnePage? I really want to leave our listeners and viewers with some practical tips that will help them cope with and deal with the effects of having a narcissistic parent. Bobbi: Right. So let’s go through this and I’m going to read the synopsis of each one because I know there are some people who are listening on podcast and they can’t see what I’m looking at. If you want to see it, go to our website, nomoreshameproject.com. The tab is downloadables. All of our OnePage is there. The first tip is to keep healthy boundaries with your narcissistic parent. Athena mentioned just a bit ago that she had to set some boundaries in what kind of ways that the narcissistic parent could communicate with her. I have one pair that I have not spoken to in 20 years because that was necessary for me to have a healthy life. It is okay to set healthy boundaries with a narcissistic parent. Next one, we’ll talk about a little bit in terms of what Pepper was realizing yesterday: realize that your narcissistic parent’s behavior is not about you, but it’s about them. So understand that if they had taken another child and take in them for 5 lux down and plank them in front of that parent, your parent would have treated that child the same way. It didn’t have anything to do with you. Don’t expect your narcissistic parent to change especially if they have full-blown narcissistic personality disorder, it is very ingrained and like we talked about, it’s self-reinforcing. And so the fact that they would even realize that they need help is virtually not existent. So, accept that they’re not going to change and limit your contact, your boundaries, whatever you need to do to deal with them. And the last one is find alternative sources of validation, acceptance and approval that your narcissistic parent was unable to give you. We all needed that as children. Some of us didn’t get it. It’s okay when you’re an adult to find healthy ways to still get those things. If it’s because of your childhood that you can’t have those things now because the window of opportunity has closed, nope, you can still go out and still seek these things in healthy ways. Athena and I have touched some things about codependency. That’s not the healthy way to get acceptance and approval. But there are healthy ways and one of the ways that we really want to encourage you, if you’re going through some of these things, reach out to us because we have support groups. Within those support groups, we talk about what are ways to communicate with each other, what are ways to establish healthy communication skills and we provide one another in a safe and supportive setting, with the approval, with the acceptance, the validation that we all need that we didn’t get as children. Let’s zip over here and talk about connecting with us. So really quickly, connect with us on Twitter. I’m at Bobbi Parish @TruthisHers, Athena is @AthenaMoberg. Add Athena Moberg. She’s so good. She’s got herself perfectly branded. Email, you can get a hold of me at BobbiLParish@gmail.com, Athena at Athena@athenamoberg.com and then we have the NoMoreShameProject@gmail.com. Facebook, we have The #NoMoreShame Project Facebook page and then websites, we have nomoreshameproject.com, BobbiParish.com and AthenaMoberg.com. Athena: Yes. Thank you, Bobbi. If you are listening in from Stitcher or SoundCloud, or I forgot to welcome you if you found us on a Roku device, I just want to welcome you and just want to tell you that we are absolutely here for you. Even though we’re going through recovery with you and we love doing this. It’s our passion and we could just do it all day for 8 hours a day. We’re here for you. We want to add value to your trauma recovery. We want to help you with life skills that were not given to you and nurtured into you and that were not afforded to you as an opportunity of another child that could have been growing up in a home that was less dysfunction. There’s dysfunction in every family. You’re not the only person. However, the level of dysfunction that went on in your family, if you are watching this broadcast or listening in, is probably extraordinary. You probably had high levels of dysfunction or abuse, especially if you incurred sexual abuse and we’re just here to provide value for you and to tell you that you’re not alone and that we’ve been there. We want to stand with you and walk along beside you and cheer you on and help you with little things. We were talking off the air today and we’re like, so it is just survivors that think this way and that struggle with this or is it like everybody thing? And we sort to have our safe people that we go to and like “Guys, help me with this. I feel this way and think this way. Is this a survivor thing or is it for everyone?” We can be that frame of reference for you, like “Okay guys, you’ve been around for a while. You know what it’s like to function out there with skills that have been toned overtime and you’re not completely socially inapt anymore because you are finally been functioning, at a highly functioning way.” So if you have struggle or questions or things that you’re just struggling with, Bobbi is totally the most amazing resource. Again, BobbiLParish@gmail.com or just reach out to me. It doesn’t cost anything. It’s totally free. Questions are free. Athena@AthenaMoberg.com. We’re so excited that you have decided to listen or watch this broadcast. So pick up your free gift, that is our gift to you for being a listener or a viewer or loyal subscriber and that’s nomoreshameproject.com. Click on the tab that says downloadables and grab all the free resources that we have to offer. It is just our gift to you. Did I forget anything Bobbi? Bobbi: I don’t think so. I think we’re good. Athena: Alright. What’s our topic next week, Bobbi? Bobbi: I think it’s about time we talk about boundaries. Athena: Yes. Boundaries is one of my favorite, favorite topics because it is all substance and it is all what can I do now. It is very little of about what happened back then. It is like 90% how can I do this now, how can I apply this now, what can I do now – that’s what it’s about. Bobbi: And that one of those things can get you immediate good results. Athena: Immediate like the same day. Bobbi: Immediate good results. Exactly. We sure love those things. Athena: Oh yeah. Okay everybody, I’m Athena Moberg. This is Bobbi Parish and we have just completed tonight’s broadcast of NoMoreShame Wednesdays or if you’re in the UK, it’s Thursday. You can find us at nomoreshameproject.com. Thank you so much. Bobbi: You bet. Good night everybody. Athena: Good night.

Contents

Victims

Spouses

Spousal sexual abuse is a form of domestic violence. When the abuse involves threats of unwanted sexual contact or forced sex by a woman's husband or ex-husband, it may constitute rape, depending on the jurisdiction, and may also constitute an assault.[3]

Children

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent.[4][5] It includes direct sexual contact, the adult or otherwise older person engaging indecent exposure (of the genitals, female nipples, etc.) to a child with intent to gratify their own sexual desires or to intimidate or groom the child, asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities, displaying pornography to a child, or using a child to produce child pornography.[4][6][7]

Effects of child sexual abuse include shame and self-blame,[8] depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, self-esteem issues, sexual dysfunction, chronic pelvic pain, addiction, self-injury, suicidal ideation, borderline personality disorder, and propensity to re-victimization in adulthood.[9] Child sexual abuse is a risk factor for attempting suicide.[10] Additionally, some studies have shown childhood sexual abuse to be a risk factor of the perpetration of intimate partner violence in men.[11] Much of the harm caused to victims becomes apparent years after the abuse happens. With specific regard to addiction, a study by Reiger et al supports previous findings that adverse life events increase sensitivity to drug rewards and bolster drug reward signaling by exposing an association between heightened limbic response to cocaine cues.[12]

Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and results in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.[13]

Globally, approximately 18–19% of women and 8% of men disclose being sexually abused when they were children.[14][15] The gender gap may be caused by higher victimization of girls, lower willingness of men to disclose abuse, or both.[14] Most sexual abuse offenders are acquainted with their victims; approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often fathers, uncles or cousins; around 60% are other acquaintances such as friends of the family, babysitters, or neighbors; strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases. Most child sexual abuse is committed by men; women commit approximately 14% of offenses reported against boys and 6% of offenses reported against girls.[16] Child sexual abuse offenders are not pedophiles unless they have a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children.[17]

People with developmental disabilities

People with developmental disabilities are often victims of sexual abuse. According to research, people with disabilities are at a greater risk for victimization of sexual assault or sexual abuse because of lack of understanding (Sobsey & Varnhagen, 1989).

People with dementia

Elderly people, especially those with dementia, can be at risk of abuse. There were over 6,000 "safeguarding concerns and alerts" at UK care homes from 2013 to 2015. These included alleged inappropriate touching and worse allegations. Offenders were most often other residents but staff also offended. It is suspected some care homes may deliberately overlook these offenses.[18]

Sometimes abuse victims are not believed because they are not seen as credible witnesses due to their dementia. Perpetrators frequently target victims who they know are unlikely to be believed. Spouses and partners sometimes continue to pursue sexual relations, without realising they no longer have this right, because the person with dementia can no longer consent.[19]

Elders

Sex abuse is one of the most common forms of abuse in nursing homes[citation needed]. If a nursing home fails to do proper background checks on an employee who subsequently abuses residents, the home can be liable for negligence. If nursing homes fail to supervise staff or train staff to recognise signs of abuse, the home can also be liable for negligence.[20] Sexual activity by care givers may be a crime. Victims may not report abuse or cooperate with investigations due to associated stigma and/or reluctance to mention body parts.[19]

Treatment

In the emergency department, contraceptive medications are offered to women raped by men because about 5% of such rapes result in pregnancy.[21] Preventative medication against sexually transmitted infections are given to victims of all types of sexual abuse (especially for the most common diseases like chlamydia, gonorhea, trichomoniasis and bacterial vaginosis) and a blood serum is collected to test for STIs (such as HIV, hepatitis B and syphilis).[21] Any survivor with abrasions are immunized for tetanus if 5 years have elapsed since the last immunization.[21] Short-term treatment with a benzodiazepine may help with acute anxiety and antidepressants may be helpful for symptoms of PTSD, depression and panic attacks.[21]

Sexual abuse has been linked to the development of psychotic symptoms in abused children. Treatment for psychotic symptoms may also be involved in sexual abuse treatment.[22]

In regards to long term psychological treatment, prolonged exposure therapy has been tested as a method of long-term PTSD treatment for victims of sexual abuse.[23]

Prevention

Child sexual abuse prevention programmes were developed in the United States of America during the 1970s and originally delivered to children. Programmes delivered to parents were developed in the 1980s and took the form of one-off meetings, two to three hours long.[24][25][26][27][28][29] In the last 15 years, web-based programmes have been developed.

Survivor

The term survivor is sometimes used for a living victim, including victims of usually non-fatal harm, to honor and empower the strength of an individual to heal, in particular a living victim of sexual abuse or assault.[30] For example, there are the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests and The Survivors Trust.

Positions of power

Sexual misconduct can occur where one person uses a position of authority to compel another person to engage in an otherwise unwanted sexual activity. For example, sexual harassment in the workplace might involve an employee being coerced into a sexual situation out of fear of being dismissed. Sexual harassment in education might involve a student submitting to the sexual advances of a person in authority in fear of being punished, for example by being given a failing grade.

Several sexual abuse scandals have involved abuse of religious authority and often cover-up among non-abusers, including cases in the Southern Baptist Convention,[31] Catholic Church, Episcopalian religion,[32] Islam,[33] Jehovah's Witnesses, Lutheran church,[34] Methodist Church,[35] The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,[36] the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Orthodox Judaism,[37] other branches of Judaism,[38] and various cults.

Minorities

Sexual abuse is a problem in some minority communities. In 2007, a number of Hispanic victims were included in the settlement of a massive sexual abuse case involving the Los Angeles archdiocese of the Catholic Church.[39] A qualitative study by Kim et al. discusses the experiences of sexual abuse in the US population of Mexican immigrant women, citing immigration, acculturation, and several other social elements as risk factors for abuse.[40] To address the issue of sexual abuse in the African-American community, the prestigious Leeway Foundation[41] sponsored a grant to develop www.blacksurvivors.org,[42] a national online support group and resource center for African-American sexual abuse survivors. The non-profit group was founded in 2008 by Sylvia Coleman, an African-American sexual abuse survivor and national sexual abuse prevention expert.

Other animals

Sexual abuse has been identified among animals as well; for example, among the Adélie penguins.[43]

See also

References

  1. ^ "Sexual abuse". American Psychological Association. 2018 American Psychological Association. Retrieved 28 January 2018.
  2. ^ "Peer commentaries on Green (2002) and Schmidt (2002)". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 31 (6): 479–503. 2002. doi:10.1023/A:1020603214218. Child molester is a pejorative term applied to both the pedophile and incest offender.
  3. ^ Patricia, Mahoney. "The Wife Rape Fact Sheet". National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center. National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center. Retrieved 28 January 2018.
  4. ^ a b "Child Sexual Abuse". Medline Plus. U.S. National Library of Medicine. 2008-04-02.
  5. ^ Committee on Professional Practice and Standards (COPPS); Board of Professional Affairs (BPA); American Psychological Association (APA); Catherine Acuff; Steven Bisbing; Michael Gottlieb; Lisa Grossman; Jody Porter; Richard Reichbart; Steven Sparta; C. Eugene Walker (August 1999). "Guidelines for Psychological Evaluations in Child Protection Matters". American Psychologist. 54 (8): 586–593. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.54.8.586. PMID 10453704. Retrieved 2008-05-07. Lay summaryAPA PsycNET (2008-05-07). Abuse, sexual (child): generally defined as contacts between a child and an adult or other person significantly older or in a position of power or control over the child, where the child is being used for sexual stimulation of the adult or other person.
  6. ^ Martin, J.; Anderson, J.; Romans, S.; Mullen, P; O'Shea, M (1993). "Asking about child sexual abuse: methodological implications of a two-stage survey". Child Abuse and Neglect. 17 (3): 383–392. doi:10.1016/0145-2134(93)90061-9. PMID 8330225.
  7. ^ Child sexual abuse definition from the NSPCC
  8. ^ Whiffen, V. E.; MacIntosh, H. B. (2005). "Mediators of the link between childhood sexual abuse and emotional distress: a critical review". Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. 6 (1): 24–39. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.331.7436. doi:10.1177/1524838004272543. PMID 15574671.
  9. ^ Maniglio, R. (2009). "The impact of child sexual abuse on health: A systematic review of reviews". Clinical Psychology Review. 29 (7): 647–657. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2009.08.003. PMID 19733950.
  10. ^ Maniglio, R. (2011). "The role of child sexual abuse in the etiology of suicide and non-suicidal self-injury". Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica. 124 (1): 30–41. doi:10.1111/j.1600-0447.2010.01612.x. PMID 20946202.
  11. ^ Teitelman AM, Bellamy SL, Jemmott JB 3rd, Icard L, O'Leary A, Ali S, Ngwane Z, Makiwane M. Childhood sexual abuse and sociodemographic factors prospectively associated with intimate partner violence perpetration among South African heterosexual men. Annals of Behavioral Medicine. 2017;51(2):170-178
  12. ^ Regier PS, Monge ZA, Franklin TR, Wetherill RR, Teitelman AM, Jagannathan K, et al. Emotional, physical and sexual abuse are associated with a heightened limbic response to cocaine cues. Addiction Biology. 2017 Nov;22(6):1768-177. doi: 10.1111/adb.12445
  13. ^ Courtois, Christine A. (1988). Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy. W. W. Norton & Company. p. 208. ISBN 978-0-393-31356-7.
  14. ^ a b Stoltenborgh, M.; van IJzendoorn, M. H.; Euser, E. M.; Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J. (2011). "A global perspective on child sexual abuse: meta-analysis of prevalence around the world". Child Maltreatment. 16 (2): 79–101. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.1029.9752. doi:10.1177/1077559511403920. PMID 21511741.
  15. ^ Pereda, N.; Guilera, G.; Forns, M.; Gómez-Benito, J. (2009). "The prevalence of child sexual abuse in community and student samples: A meta-analysis". Clinical Psychology Review. 29 (4): 328–338. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2009.02.007. hdl:2445/27746. PMID 19371992.
  16. ^ Whealin, Julia Whealin (2007-05-22). "Child Sexual Abuse". National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, US Department of Veterans Affairs. Archived from the original on 2009-07-30.
  17. ^ Seto, Michael (2008). Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. p. vii.
  18. ^ Sex crimes against the elderly - are they being ignored? BBC
  19. ^ a b CHALLENGES WHEN INVESTIGATING ELDER SEXUAL ABUSE Archived 2016-10-08 at the Wayback Machine
  20. ^ Sexual Abuse in Nursing Homes
  21. ^ a b c d Varcarolis, Elizabeth (2013). Essentials of psychiatric mental health nursing. St. Louis: Elsevier. pp. 439–442.
  22. ^ Crush E, Arseneault L, Jaffee SR, Danese A, Fisher HL. Protective factors for psychotic symptoms among poly-victimized children. Schizophrenia Bulletin. 2017 Aug 31. doi: 10.1093/schbul/sbx111. [Epub ahead of print]
  23. ^ Schiff M, Nacasch N, Levit S, Katz N, Foa EB. Prolonged exposure for treating PTSD among female methadone patients who were survivors of sexual abuse in Israel. Social Work & Health Care. 2015; 54(8): 687-707. DOI: 10.1080/00981389.2015.1058311
  24. ^ Babatsikos, Georgia (2010). "Parents' knowledge, attitudes and practices about preventing child sexual abuse: a literature review". Child Abuse Review. 19 (2): 107–129. doi:10.1002/car.1102. ISSN 0952-9136.
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Further reading

  • Sorenson, Susan B. (1997). Violence and Sexual Abuse at Home: Current Issues in Spousal Battering and Child Maltreatment, New York: Haworth Press. ISBN 1-56024-681-2.
  • Leigh Ann Reynolds. "People with Mental Retardation & Sexual Abuse. The Arc Q & A", Arc National Headquarters, 1997
  • Baladerian, N. (1991). "Sexual abuse of people with developmental disabilities". Sexuality and Disability. 9 (4): 323–335. doi:10.1007/BF01102020.
  • Sobsey, D. (1994). Violence and Abuse in the Lives of People With Disabilities: The End of Silent Acceptance? Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co. ISBN 978-1-55766-148-7
  • Sobsey D. and Varnhagen, C. (1989). "Sexual abuse and exploitation of people with disabilities: Toward Prevention and Treatment". In M. Csapo and L. Gougen (Eds) Special Education Across Canada (pp. 199–218). Vancouver Centre for Human Developmental Research
  • Valenti-Hien, D. and Schwartz, L. (1995). "The sexual abuse interview for those with developmental disabilities". James Stanfield Company, Santa Barbara: California.
  • Baur, Susan (1997), The Intimate Hour: Love and Sex in Psychotherapy. Boston: Houghton-Mifflin Co. viii, 309 p. ISBN 0-395-82284-X
  • Walker, Evelyn, and Perry Deane Young (1986). A Killing Cure. New York: H. Holt and Co. xiv, 338 p. N.B.: Explanatory subtitle on book's dust cover: One Woman's True Account of Sexual and Drug Abuse and Near Death at the Hands of Her Psychiatrist. Without ISBN
  • White-Davis, Donna (2009). Lovers in the Time of Plague.

External links

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