My Princess Boy

My Princess Boy

Author	Cheryl Kilodavis
Illustrator	Suzanne DeSimone
Cover artist	Suzanne DeSimone
Country	United States
Language	English
Genre	Picture book
Publisher	KD Talent, LLC
Publication date	2009
Media type	Print
Pages	36
ISBN	9781442429888
OCLC	681503510

My Princess Boy is a 2009 children's picture book written by Cheryl Kilodavis and illustrated by Suzanne DeSimone. The story centers on a boy who likes "pretty things" and prefers to wear tiaras and "girly dresses."^[1] The story informs readers about supporting children regardless of their expression.^[2] Despite the attention he receives regarding his appearance, the Princess Boy always has the love and support of his family throughout the entire story.^[3]

While being controversial and frequently challenged, scholars advocate the book for its ability to introduce the idea of diversity in gender expression simply in homes, classrooms, counseling offices, and public libraries.^[3]

YouTube Encyclopedic

1/3
Views:
28 735
488
773

Transcription

On Today's Family, "When little boys want to dress like little girls". One mom's decision to share her experience with her son is receiving a lot of attention. I'm going to talk to them both in just a moment. But first their story. Dyson Kilodavis: I'm a princess boy and I love wearing dresses and I love the colors of pink and red. I'm a princess in my castle. Presenter: For little Dyson, now 5, this is part of his everyday play, but for his mom Cheryl Kilodavis it took some getting used to. Cheryl Kilodavis: My initial reaction was to redirect, play with the truck or read certain books. Presenter: When Dyson wanted to be a princess for Halloween Cheryl initially resisted but soon changed her mind. CK: My older son Toby said, “Mom, why can't you just let him be happy. And at that moment I knew that this was more my issue and if Toby could be a Ninja, why couldn't he be a princess? Presenter: Since then they've allowed their youngest son to explore his interest in all things dressy and sparkly. Dean Kilodavis: He's not contagious, he's just like any other kid, plays the checkers, he plays in the trees, he just likes to do it in a dress, big deal. Presenter: He likes pretty things, pink is his favorite color. The experience led Cheryl to self-publish a book, “My Princess Boy”, which she wrote as tool to encourage acceptance of Dyson and his dresses. CK: A store clerk once said to me, “Are you really going to buy that for him?” And I said, “Can you just read this book for 60 seconds?” And after she read it, she apologized. Presenter: Word spread, their story appeared on the local TV talk show and in People magazine. Soon a major publisher picked up “My Princess Boy”, which landed in bookstores across the country just before Christmas. Ken Corbett: I think it's fantastic and I think that what it tells us is that these boys, their parents, and the social world is no longer the same. There is an audience for this book and there are people who need this kind of information and this kind of help. CK: I haven't had that moment of regret yet, partly, that, I think is, because of all of the people who are emailing me from all over the country and internationally as well who are saying, “I'm so glad I'm not alone.” (Applause) CK: It's ironic that I stand here before you today. I mean, after all, I am the woman in the video. I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, I have my MBA, I run my own marketing company and yet I stand here before you today to talk about the evolution of the male image. Let's talk a little bit about the video. Some of the worldwide reactions. On the positive side: this is a parent accepting their child; this is a supportive book, it doesn't have negative terms in it; and the best question of all: “What would I do?” Notice how it's not “what you should do”; it's asking the question: What would I do? On the negative side: “too young to decide;” “children do what we tell them to do and they do it;” “exploitation;” “this woman's trying to get rich.” Note to self: If you want to get rich, don't publish a children's book. (Laughter) And culturally wrong. I'm biracial with African-American and Caucasian heritage and in our culture my job is to raise strong black men. But before we go into any of that, that's anecdotal, let's stop going with opinions, let's do something we all understand – math. Let's take this as an acceptance equation. Let's say that every difference equals a level of discomfort. Now there's ways that you can go high-level of discomfort and low-level of discomfort. But we're going to measure for that level. Before we do this, we have to understand, why does difference make us uncomfortable? Well, it's tribal. Back in caveman days, if somebody was coming towards you, that looked different than you, you could have lost your food, your family, your life. Differences equaled real threat in caveman days. Fortunately, you realize all differences were equal in lifetime threats and so basically communities began. People started working together, figuring out, how can we make things better? Let's take that further. Okay, let's say you want to walk around in tribal times. You are moving around in a horse and buggy. And you can only go as far as you can see. Imagine the people in the horse and buggy now looking at us as we travel around in airplanes. And let's take it a little bit further. A CEO of a the company, white male, middle-aged, here's Ted Turner. But now we have Xerox, we have PepsiCo, we have Yahoo and we have Merck; look at all these different leaders of these companies and how different they all look. And let's take it one step further. Here's Eisenhower and his wife, perfect first couple, right? And then today our first African-American president. So basically we see that although difference equals a level of discomfort, it doesn't equal threat any more. We have evolved, we continue to evolve, so now that we know that that's tribal, and that it's really wired within us to have this feeling of discomfort, when we see difference, let's now solve for acceptance. There are two questions I think we need to answer. One: Why am I uncomfortable? and: Is it harming anyone? Let's go deeper. Of course we're uncomfortable, look at the audience today, we don't see men in dresses, we don't see a whole lot of pink, we don't see a whole lot of different things that would be attributed to the opposite gender, for men. So of course it's uncomfortable. Then we look at the history, here's a picture of Louis XV in the 1770's, a portrait of him in a pink dress. Here's a picture of FDR in the 1880's. 1930's, uniforms for the air force USA are pink shirts. And in the women's movement, the social movement that happened, women started going during World War II to work and stayed at work. People were concerned, “Oh my gosh, no one's going to parent the children. Reproduction will end.” I'm pretty sure we're still reproducing. (Laughter) Okay, so, we now know why we're uncomfortable. Let's go to: is it harming anyone? Well, I'm going to take you through a few celebrities. Here's Usher in some hot pink boots. Here's a fashion week that just happened and the designer had all the male models in dresses. Here's Spike Lee in a leather skirt. Janet Jackson in a suit and tie. And we have P Diddy rocking a concert in a skirt and Lady Gaga dressed as a male. and then we have Mark Jacobs who designs skirts for men. So I ask you, “Did anyone die from this? Was anybody harmed?” Now you may argue that yes, society was harmed, we have serious, serious level of discomfort with this. And I ask you to go back to cavemen times. Did you lose your family? Were you threatened? This is about acceptance, that's what this is about our fundamental need of acceptance. So now that we know it's not harming anyone, we need to accept the fact that the male image is evolving. There are different rules for men and we need to accept them for who they are. Now, the level of discomfort will continue with us, because we are wired to feel that difference equals a level of discomfort. But I would say with acceptance being needed how do we do this? Well, we become acceptance champions. I believe that the country got it wrong; all of our organizations, all of our books, all of our training foundations, we have anti-bullying in the name. Why not acceptance? Why not acceptance curricula versus anti-bullying curricula? We're going to turn this around. When we wanna tell someone, do something, say something, we take it further than the level of the bystander, we go to the acceptance champion who says, “Hey Usher, nice pink boots.” That's what we do, we turn the negative to positive. Those are acceptance champions and I guarantee you they're all over. We are all of them. It's time for us to stand up for differences. And hopefully, we will learn to embrace those who feel different, are different and express themselves differently. As we come together, we realize that acceptance champions have conversations and conversations change society. That's a fact. So what's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine. We have to work together to build this world of acceptance. As I leave I'm reminded of one of the shortest quotes in the English language, by Muhammad Ali, “Me, we.” Thank you very much. (Applause)

Plot

My Princess Boy begins with the narrator (and mother) introducing the Princess Boy and his many interests. The narrator describes the Princess Boy's family relationships and friendships. Next, the narrator expresses the conflict that arises with the Princess Boy's non-conforming gender identity and expression. In particular, the narrator recounts individuals laughing and staring at the Princess Boy when he wears or buys girly things. Throughout the entire story, the Princess Boy's family is steadfast in their reassurance, support, and love for the Princess Boy.

Background

The story was inspired by Kilodavis' son, Dyson.^[2] Kilodavis being a mother of a child who did not conform to stereotypical gender norms, wanted to advocate for the acceptance of gender differences.^[2] When her son Dyson was about two, he began creating his own personal style consisting of jewelry and dresses.^[2] Around this time was when Dyson proclaimed to her, "I am a Princess Boy, Mommy!"^[2]

Kilodavis also admitted to a delayed acceptance towards her role as being a mother of a gender nonconforming child.^[2] Kilodavis initially imposed "boy" things onto her son while pushing him away from "girly" things.^[2] Finally, Kilodavis' older son, Dkobe, brought about a turning point: When Dkobe was six he asked his mother, "My can't you just let him be happy, Mom?"^[2] At this point, Kilodavis recognized that her older son's words would affect her and her family for good.^[2] Additionally, Kilodavis' inability to find empowering or positive books for her son Dyson also played an influential role in pushing her towards creating My Princess Boy.^[2]

Kilodavis also mentioned that her upbringing played an extremely critical role in teaching her how to live spiritually, be self-aware, and sense what feels morally right from wrong.^[2] Kilodavis admitted that growing up, her socioeconomic and racial status made it harder for her to fit in as well.^[2] She too did not fit into the gender dichotomy of female stereotypes.^[2] Often, she was exploited when participating in male-dominated activities, due to her gender and race.^[2] She was further frustrated at the interplay between race and gender in society, and how she never saw examples of strong and powerful women in literature.^[2]

Finally, Kilodavis stated that Free to Be… You and Me by Marlo Thomas impacted her implicitly, as an author and mother, particularly with the book's themes of respect and acceptance.^[2] Furthermore, Kilodavis stated that Free to Be... You are Me helped set a foundation for her own book to be successfully received by adults who also felt different.^[2]

Lastly, Kilodavis affirmed that she wrote the story as a tool to help people start a discussion on the acceptance of diversity.^[2]

Analysis

According to The Horn Book Guide to Children's and Young Adult Books, although Kilodavis, inspired by her son, admirably addresses gender identity in young children, she "doesn’t prevail over taboo due to her text’s oversimplification and didacticism."^[1] Additionally, The Horn Book Guide to Children's and Young Adult Books contends that the "pink-heavy illustrations showing featureless characters are off-putting."^[1]

Alison Donnelly from The School Library Journal, on the other hand, maintains that Kilodavis, through her own experiences and the experiences of her son Dyson, is able to introduce themes such as identity, acceptance, individuality, and bullying.^[3] Donnelly claims that the book ultimately focuses around the themes of societal acceptance, unconditional love, and a unified family.^[3] Lastly, as asserted by Donnelly, My Princess Boy is also a call for tolerance, diversity, and the termination of judgment and bullying.^[3]

DeSimone’s illustrations in My Princess Boy include featureless characters. Kilodavis, having worked with DeSimone in the past, asked her to create "illustrations based on family photos."^[4] Although featureless, the illustrations are positive, bright, and colorful.^[3] "In the cartoon illustrations, stars pop into view and rise through pick skies as touches send balls bouncing cause flowers to emit rapid drumbeats and make the and the other weirdly faceless human figures dance."^[5] "Children may ask why the people depicted have no faces which may spark discussions about how we are all the same."^[3]

In "Pedi-Files: Reading the Foot in Contemporary Illustrated Children's Literature," Jennifer Miskec introduces the idea of boys being portrayed as feminized and "eroticized" while being en point.^[6] Miskec points out that the Princess Boy, throughout My Princess Boy, is portrayed en pointe.^[6] In one particular illustration, the Princess Boy is "on the tips of his pink shoes' toes, mirrored by his female playmate who is likewise en pointe in red shoes, directly and obviously showing his closer association with the female."^[6] The Princess Boy's father, brother, and other male figures are depicted as standing flat-footed.^[6] Additionally, the Princess Boy's femininity is further articulated through "his blank face, without eyes, nose, or mouth, en pointe and silenced like classical ballerinas before him."^[6] To Miskec, this translates as being the Princess Boy's fulfillment of his own feminine fantasy.^[6]

Lastly, Kilodavis concludes with the statement "My Princess Boy is your Princess Boy", a sentiment suggesting that Kilodavis' intended audience is in large part for parents as well.^[5]

Publication

After communicating with Dyson's daycare, Kilodavis decided to write My Princess Boy as an avenue of expressing her support for her son.^[4] After contacting her illustrator, she distributed a locally copied, “glue-bound” book to Dyson's teacher.^[4] After creating an online website to sell copies, an influx of book orders and support strained Kilodavis’ ability to meet demands and produce a sufficient amount of the more expensive, locally copied books.^[4]

Initially, Kilodavis hired a local book printer to produce and sell 100 books on Amazon, however, after the copy was introduced to Seattle's NBC affiliate and appeared on a daytime talk show, the floodgates opened.^[4] “Within 24 hours there was a waiting list for the book, and I received more than 500 e-mails of support. It was an international response that was overwhelming."^[4]

After much media attention, Kilodavis ultimately connected with Simon & Schuster's children's division.^[4]

When Kilodavis originally decided to publish through Amazon, she was fearful that they would change her storyline.^[4] “Back when I decided to put the book on Amazon, I knew I could submit it into a publisher, but I was so afraid they would change the story. Since this is nonfiction- and my tool- I couldn’t risk having anyone change it. At Simon & Schuster, they wanted to publish it as it was."^[4]

Simon & Schuster quickly closed the deal and published the book within two months.^[4]

Reception

Educators often utilize My Princess Boy for introducing topics and themes relating to gender.^[3] The utilization of My Princess Boy has opened outlets to exploring diverse experiences through literature, but has also conversely sparked much controversy across the United States.^[7]

In 2014, fifty-two patrons in Granbury, Texas challenged the inclusion of the book in Hood County Library's collection.^[8] When the library's director, Courtney Kincaid, defended the book's inclusion, objectors took their complaint to the commissioners' court (a county legislative body in some U.S. states). The court effectively upheld Kincaid's decision by declining to vote on the matter.^[8]

On October 12, 2015, the principal at Nova Classical Academy in St. Paul, Minnesota informed parents that the school would be supporting a student who was gender non-conforming.^[9] In an email, the principal asked for kindergarten parents to talk with their children about appropriate and respectful conduct when engaging with gender non-conforming identities.^[9] Upon learning that the non-conforming student was in kindergarten, many parents became concerned with the issue of gender identity being imposed onto their young children.^[9] Furthermore, several parents became increasingly apprehensive about the inclusion of My Princess Boy in the curriculum.^[9] The spectrum became prominently split with supporters launching petitions in favor of My Princess Boy and objectors either worried about bathroom policies, or leaving the Academy all together.^[9] There was a significant drop-off in applications and increase in declined offers of enrollment for the 2016–17 school year.^[9] The school later went on to replace My Princess Boy with poems depicting similar themes.^[9]

In November 2019, many Loudoun County parents became outraged due to books placed in curriculums as a part of “a new Diverse Classroom Library Initiative."^[10] Several books, one being My Princess Boy, were assigned throughout the school district to introduce kids to a variety of cultures and races, yet many parents were alarmed with the influx of books centered on “sexual diversity” and “LGBT ideology."^[10]

References

^ ^a ^b ^c "The Horn Book Guide to Children's and Young Adult Books". The Horn Book Guide. 22. Boston, Massachusetts: Horn Book, Incorporated. 2011. ISSN 1044-405X.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e ^f ^g ^h ⁱ ^j ^k ^l ^m ⁿ ^o ^p ^q ^r Rotskoff, Lori; Lovett, Laura (2012). "Lessons and Legacies: You're Free to be... a Champion". When We Were Free to Be: Looking Back at a Children's Classic and the Difference It Made. University of North Carolina Press. pp. 251–255. ISBN 978-1-4696-0142-7.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e ^f ^g ^h Donnelly, Alison (June 2011). "The Book Review: My Princess Boy". School Library Journal. 57 (6). ISSN 0362-8930.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e ^f ^g ^h ⁱ ^j Lodge, Sally (January 13, 2011). "Two Originally Self-Published Picture Books Hit Their Strides". Publishers Weekly.
^ ^a ^b MY PRINCESS BOY by Cheryl Kilodavis , Suzanne DeSimone , KDT Media | Kirkus Reviews.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e ^f Miskec, Jennifer (2014). "Pedi-Files: Reading the Foot in Contemporary Illustrated Children's Literature". Children's Literature. 42. Johns Hopkins University Press: 224–245. doi:10.1353/chl.2014.0017. ISSN 1543-3374. S2CID 144243722.
^ Quast, Erin (2019). "And He Could Wear a Dress?: A Preschool Transformative Book Conversation". The Reading Teacher. 72 (4): 445–451. doi:10.1002/trtr.1740. S2CID 150154046.
^ ^a ^b Barack, Lauren (July 14, 2015). "Updated: Hearing for LGBTQ-Themed Books Challenged 52 Times". slj.com. Media Source. Retrieved 2016-03-21.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e ^f ^g Chung, Josephine (March 1, 2016). "Minnesota Kindergarten Students Forced to Confront Gender Identity". Western Free Press – via Lexis.
^ ^a ^b "The Winners-Take-All Politics of Virginia Schools". State Capital Newsfeed. November 4, 2019.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia