[nonA] Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - 05 (BD ).ass (DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES)
[Comparing
Status]
Physical examinations are so nerve wracking.
I find them a little exciting.
It went up!
It didn't go up!
My three sizes...
...are private information.
I'll sue if you measure them!
Could you also check my blood sugar levels and gamma-GTP?
And my cholesterol.
So you're at an age where that's a bigger concern.
Flexibility...
...minus 40 centimeters.
You're amazing, Mataro.
Mataro?
Sekiutsu Maria Tarou...
...Mataro.
Sekiutsu . Maria . Tarou
Cute, right?
Not even a little.
Clang
This looks a little bad.
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Not just
a little,
Fatass!
That's mean!
What about you, Meru-chan?
Did your breasts grow a little bit bigger?
Don't look
Give it back
Dumbass ugly face
Sorry...
Watch out when you're walking alone at night
The original episode was chaos...(Cry)
Being criticized before it even aired!
Zero Zero
Although...
These numbers are bad.
This calls for a diet.
2~H
I believe physical examinations were today.
However...
...what is the point in focusing on your outward appearance?
Your physical body will eventually crumble!
You will be cremated...
...and your ashes scattered from atop Ayers Rock.
What's the point in worrying about such worldly matters!?
Number of hits
Market cap
Calories
Number of copies sold
Things like your company's market cap...
...or the number of calories on the menu...
...or the number of hits on your blog...
...or how many copies your book has sold.
The fact that mere numbers can make people rejoice or grieve...
...is the reason Japan has become so bizarre!
I'm in despair!
This number crunching society has left me in despair!
Tima~~!!
Boing
Boing...
What's important is what's on the inside.
Saved by the fact that I have no dreams
Which is why today...
...we will commence an examination of your status!
Examination of our status?
Devil the Great Stygian of Abe (Temporary Name)
Tima~
What's that?
In other words...
A measure of your caliber as human beings.
I believe that every person should be aware of their own status...
...and live accordingly!
Many people in this world do things unfitting of their status.
Like a 60" Plazma television in a six tatami mat room.
A NEET making fun of other NEET's.
You get a biometric cash card...
...when you only have 5,000 yen in you account.
You have long hair when you're balding.
You expose your midriff when you're a fatass.
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.Amateur baseball in Tokyo Dome
.Colleges who's acceptance have a range of 40
.Long hair when you're balding
.Bullet Train service in that place
.Spa for dogs
.Ibata batting third
.A biometric card when you only have 5,000 yen in your account
.Selling a 10,000 yen jacket in fashion center Shima--ra
.Holding the Olympics in the country where 90% of all executions occur
.Pre-schoolers with perfect English intonation
At any rate, there are too many people who do not understand their own station!
Your ceiling for rent is 1/3 of your income.
You use a two page spread in a 12 page manga!
If you do not know yourself...
By Sun Tzu
...you will succumb to every battle.
By Sun Tzu.
Balloon Tarou
Landlady makes an appearance
Which is why...
...I will measure everyone's status.
Please enter the allocated room one at a time.
Itoshiki-Sensei.
Komori
Komori-san is present.
Exam room
Excuse me.
Come in.
Please have a seat.
O-Okay.
I know this is sudden...
...but could you lend me 10,000 yen?
Huh?
Can I count on you?
I-I can't lend you 10,000 yen.
Then...
...2,000 yen is fine.
Can you lend it to me?
No way, I can't lend you 2,000 yen.
Then 1,000 yen.
1,000 yen is a large amount.
500 yen?
500 yen is...
100 yen.
100 yen is still...
50 yen.
Um...
I understand.
I can lend you that much.
50 yen.
Your human worth is 50 yen!
Usui
50 yen
50 yen!?
What kind of person would that be?
Indeed...
In general...
...a 50 yen person...
...will get pissed off is someone uses the eraser after borrowing a pencil.
Don't toy with me, dummy !
Did you ask for permission to use that!?
They keep riding until the last 160 yen stop...
Destination
Uguisudani
Nippori
-----160 yen range-----
...even if it means missing their destination.
One more stop.
Instead of using their own cellphone at camp...
...they use someone else's cellphone for light.
Other people's cellphones sure are bright.
That is the kind of person you want to be.
I don't want to be like that!
And I don't say any of those things!
Regardless...
...I'll need you to live a lifestyle...
...that befits a 50 yen person.
2-H
What is this!?
Not listing!
I'm gonna cry.
Wanna get hooked?
A desk fitting of your status.
This desk would be considered big...
...for a 50 yen caliber person.
You build a highway in the country...
...but nobody uses it, leaving you in the red.
A government employ drives a Ferrari...
...but lives in a one room apartment...
...forcing him to park it outside.
Once a virgin goes out with a married woman...
...his body can no longer be satisfied by younger girls.
When you do things beyond your station...
...you will usually find unpleasant results.
This treatment is to ensure...
...that you students do not meet such a fate.
That's wonderful.
Thanks for the reply
So what's the real story
with the meat buns?
This is the first time I've been impressed by your views.
As I thought, it's important for people to understand their station.
From now on, I will ensure that everyone is living appropriately in regards to their status.
Wait a minute, you.
Have I done something?
How can this material warrant a hard cover edition in full color...
...with hologram printing, die-cut paper...
...and a gold leaf fold out poster included.
You put out a doujinshi beyond your status!
Desperate Teachers
(18+)
You damn upstart!
Photocopies are good enough for you!
A phone capable of sending 10,000 character messages.
This is not suitable for your status.
70 character Chara Mail is enough for the likes of you!
Chara Mail service ended in February of 2005o
Um, have I done something?
You're a student and you're carrying a brand name bag?
A brand name paper bag is good enough for the likes of you!
This is oppression...
The oppression has begun.
Mataro lives a modest life...
...so she probably doesn't have anything above her status.
That's not true.
I also have something that doesn't fit my status.
I have a 100,000,000 yen life insurance policy that doesn't fit my status.
The Secret Society Dark Patriot Brigade
Seventh Generation Brigade Chief
Lee Nakanao
Who's the recipient?
Of course, it isn't me.
Then there's no problem.
You're okay with that?
It's all wrong.
The world is all wrong.
In that case, I'll put everything in this world in it's place.
Yes...
After all, humans...
...stand on half a tatami mat and sleep on a whole one.
I understand the "standing on half a tatami mat" part...
...but the "sleeping" part..?
It looks like this part opens up.
I see.
So you sleep like this.
You're over the line.
Don't go outside your tatami!
Living according to your status is a terrifying thing.
You can't be comfortable whether you're asleep or awake.
In any case, I no longer care.
I'll die an exorbitant death far exceeding my status.
A Celebrity's death!
Get hit by a Celebrity's car.
Get cut by a Celebrity's edged tool.
Slip on a Celebrity's banana peel.
Hang myself with a Celebrity's sash.
And...
...take a Celebrity Buddhist name above my station!
Speaking of extreme Celebrities...
...wouldn't it be that?
Reckless Inferior Depraved Repentant Ruinous Foul-Mouthed Revered Master Despair The Great
Wouldn't it be that?
Those words from my student...
...changed the rest of my life.
I wondered what all those days of despair had been for.
My muddy soul rose up from the depths of those bogs...
...and came in contact with clan air and light...
...and for the first time, I knew what it was to be alive.
But at the same time...
...I learned how hollow life feels when you can have everything.
Once again I was in despair.
The whole world had left me in despair.
An exorbitant lifestyle.
The finest wine.
The finest women.
I drowned myself in everything I could.
...and decided to leave this world.
I...
...drowned myself in a pool of Dom Perignon...
...and died.
You're not dead.
I skimped on the Dom Perignon...
...so there wasn't enough to kill me.
So you were saved by your cheap nature.
Itoshiki-Sensei.
Here, Sensei.
Call me again.
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Bill
It costs this much money to die?
It doesn't cost a penny.
Aka
matsu
Ku
me
ta
Removing toxins and stains
Say
o
na
ra
Zetsubou Sensei
KumePro Production
Woeful Nation
The high School Teacher...
...Itoshiki Nozomu...
...won second prize in the shopping district lottery.
Say + Sell
= Read
The prize was...
...a trip to the hot springs.
Men's
Changing room
An opportunity to wash away the stress of a harsh world...
...while refreshing the body and soul.
An open air bath, huh?
Very refined.
This is so soothing...
You are...
Sekiutsu-san..?
Woman's
That's dangerous.
Come down!
Sensei's here.
Sensei is?
Women's Men's
Hey.
Wasn't this situation cut yesterday?
Whoa!
The steam is so thin!
And now...
Moon + Turmoil
= Chest
No!
That should be our reaction.
Ear + Heart
= Shame
Don't you girls have any shame!?
Well, more or less...
But
But, I don't particularly mind being seen by Sensei.
That's right.
In fact.
Please look!
Water + Stand
= Cry
It's as though...
...I'm not registering as a man to them.
I think his ego is bruised.
Huh?
P.E Storage
Water + Before
= Wash
Don't open it.
Door + Big
= Return
Incidentally...
...why are you all here?
We were rather concerned about the results of our physical exam...
...so we all decided to detox.
Are you also here to detox?
Detox?
Detox?
Five effects
1. HP recovery
2. Remove poison
3. Cure petrify
4. -------------
5. Cure other
abnormal status
effects
That is all
It means to eliminate toxins.
This is a germanium hot spring effective for detoxification.
It can flush the toxins out of your body.
Flush the toxins out of your body?
Toxins
This isn't funny!
I'm absolutely against it!
Why?
If you randomly remove toxins...
...there will be severe consequences!
I've sweat a great deal.
That should have flushed out plenty of toxins.
Time to get out.
A wet suit!?
We were expecting fanservice for the audience...
...but they didn't even use a swimsuit!
She's in a wet suit!
Hey, hostess!
I slipped and fell!
Are you okay, young lady?
She's definitely going to sue.
Do you happen to have a band-aid?
I'll bring one right away.
Pop
Sorry to trouble you.
Thank you very much.
She's lost her toxic nature.
Drip
Drip
Drip
Splash
Mail. Mail.
Mail. Mail.
Pirororo...
Piroriparopirirora.
Don't tell me...
A normal message without the toxic tone!
Fluffy Fluffy
That was a good bath
Human beings should respect personal space.
She lost her toxicity and is standing further away!
P.E Storage
You have such beautiful skin, Komori-san.
I'm so envious.
Is that so?
Sensei.
I'll wash you next.
Really?
You're also very beautiful, Sensei.
And you have a wonderful figure.
I guess.
Oh?
Are you cold?
Let's get in together.
Together?
So, we can both fit...
Water + Stand
= Heal
My injuries have healed.
Tree + Fix
= Ue for Ueda
Kopo-chan is so interesting.
Cheerful
The Congratulations Takeo-san Volume
Eat + Lack
= Drink
It's all about cold milk after a long soak.
Shell + Construct
= Purchase
I'll help pay for it.
Your total comes to 1,260 yen.
Um...
630 yen...
600 yen is fine.
They've all had their toxins flushed.
Isn't it a good thing that they've all become better people?
What is it?
You...
...didn't change after your toxins were flushed.
Because you were normal to begin with?
Don't say normal!
Behold!
The pathetic sight of those who have been detoxified!
My parents want me to at least go to college.
I don't believe that college can determine a persons life.
What's important is what you want to do once you get to college.
Maybe it isn't too late to aim towards becoming a vet.
Why not?
I think it's a wonderful idea.
Never suppress yourself.
Not good!
They're talking the way adult psychologists think middle school students talk!
I don't see anything wrong with this.
No!
Once their toxicity is gone...
...it will feel like something is missing.
Allow me
to demonstrate!
Allow me to demonstrate.
It appears that...
...that a number of detoxified items have sunk...
...to the bottom of this hotspring.
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Doing good is a beautiful thing
~Saneatsu
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Sighing won't bring company
~Housai
A detoxified Dr. BJ.
Proof of insurance please.
He's asking for insurance!?
Once his toxicity is gone...
...naturally, he will practice safe medicine...
...and require insurance.
A BJ that requires insurance...
...has lost it's appeal!
Fish cannot live in water that's too clean!
You shouldn't recklessly flush out toxins!
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A detoxified Sandayu Dokumamushi would turn into some sort of Good Samaritan
Note: Doku = Poison / Mamushi = Viper
A detoxified Sandayu Dokumamushi...
...would turn into some sort of Good Samaritan.
Live a long life, Granny.
And he would no longer be a poisonous viper...
...but just an ordinary viper!
Akihabara
A detoxified Akihabara...
...would just be another electronic town.
If you recklessly flush out toxins...
☆
This show is a work of fiction and has absolutely nothing to do with real people, organizations or events.
...it will feel like something's missing!
Hostess!
Prepare their dinner!
Loaded with artificial additives!
Yes, right away.
The Cat Room
Chomp
Chomp
District + Meat
= Rotten
That's a great pairing.
Hand + Reach
= Stroke
Say + Reject
Yay!
= Sue
Hand + Page
= Type
You saw them, didn't you?
I'm going to sue.
Woman + And + Heart
= Anger
You can't charge money for that!
Mail. Mail.
Mail. Mail.
Mail. Mail.
Honestly!
Everybody, straighten up!
Me + Cloth
= Hope
Everyone's gone back to normal.
String + Shop
= Stalk
Thank goodness.
Too close!
Yes.
The distance between our hearts.
Our hearts, you say..?
They're touching
Itoshiki-Sensei.
With this, 2-H is once again secure.
Humans recklessly flush toxins or go beyond their limits.
They shouldn't be overextending themselves.
It's best to live according to your status.
So we're back to that topic.
Speaking of which...
...what would happen if we detoxified you?
Why don't you give it a try?
That's a frightening thought!
I refuse!
There's no need to hold back.
You'll feel refreshed.
That's...
Sensei...
This is all that remains once you detoxify him...
So his whole being was toxic.
Itoshiki-Sensei!
I've realized...
...that from earth's view...
...humans are the toxins.
Are you going to...
...Detox?
Are you going to
Detox?
[Removing Toxins
and Stains]
Innocent
Na-na-na-na-na