Creature Comforts - 1-05 - The Garden (-2ch).srt (DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES)
Digging dirt up...
and then putting it on the compost.
That's our favorite thing in the garden.
I do everything in my power to avoid having to go out in the garden.
It's just not my cup of tea at all.
Boring, dirty, cold, wet, generally, out here.
Do you want to say something, Mother?
No, please don't.
Just go back in your little...
I do apologize.
I love gardening.
They say, in the garden, it's the closest place to God.
Actually, I'm waiting for a nice warm day so I can go pull a few things up.
Hello.
I like gardening, but I'd like to do more. I'd like to have the time.
I love to see things grow, I love to design things.
A garden's a place for contemplation, isn't it? For reflection.
Gardening?
Very apt.
We don't really know much about gardening, do we?
We seem to get by.
Gardening, you know, it's not an easy job.
When you're digging all day...
the old back tends to suffer at the end of the day.
You make it as easy as you can, really.
I would call this a labor-intensive garden.
Yes, it is.
Me and Nige, we like being out in the open more than we do indoors.
I believe that, anyway.
And I think what Nigel likes about it...
is he's got that sort of say in it like, "No, do it this way."
I think he likes that.
But I think we both get on quite well together.
Sometimes you have a moan at me and that about it.
But two minds are better than one. That's what I always say.
You know, we make sure that a job is done to the best of our capabilities...
the job is cleared, and it's spot on when we leave.
We have a yard that Des has very nicely decked out, haven't you, love?
Yeah, well, it's all right.
I really like it. It gets loads of sun, got us some ornamental grasses.
-It's quite small but it's nice. -It's not that small.
It's smallish.
There aren't many ponds in the neighborhood...
and in the height of summer, when it gets quite dry...
any body of water attracts frogs from miles around.
A lonely hearts pond for frogs, yes.
A sort of singles bar sort of thing.
I get a bird's-eye view of some of the most extraordinary gardens.
Sometimes you can be up one tree...
which has eight gardens underneath it.
All the neighboring gardens will be gnashing their teeth...
about this big tree.
The person who owns the tree has a very defensive attitude towards it.
It's got a little bit of decking and then a bit of grass...
-and sort of loads of-- -And a bit of slabs.
-"Bit of slabs." -lt has, it's got everything.
-Paving, right. -Yeah, slabs.
And you can dig dirt, grass...
sheds, bikes...
flagstones.
What's your favorite plant?
I don't have any favorite plants. I like all the plants, except vegetables.
I hate vegetables.
I don't like any plants except vegetables.
You're only saying that.
No, it's true. I know I quite like--
-You like olive trees. -I can't see the point in flowers, really.
I like a good-looking garden...
which attracts all sorts of living things into it.
Be a sort of magnet for life.
I like contrasts...
of form and color.
And cat papoo and dog papoo.
And bird papoo.
This organic gardening, it's coming a long way, isn't it?
All people are sort of... I noticed in gardens that we visit...
that there's a lot of people with their own compost heaps...
putting their own peelings and stuff like that.
It's like that garden we done up in Portishead.
That one that had all that black stuff.
You opened it up and it was jet black, remember?
That was that one with all the shrubs in the garden...
and that stuff was really good.
I mean, that's good for the organic stuff.
Yeah, it all helps, don't it?
They're about number one on the hit list, are slugs...
crawling and sliming across leaves and eating.
Not very good, the following morning you see these silvery trails.
-I can eat almost anything. -Yeah, I think I'm the same, too.
I won't refuse anything. The only thing I don't eat...
is Turkish delight.
-I like Turkish delight, see? -I can't stand it.
And litchis.
What don't I like? I think I like mostly everything.
Brussel Sprouts and that, I like them but the missus don't like it.
-No, nor do l. -Not after.
Yeah, I know what she means.
Slugs, in my opinion, they're ugly-looking things...
but they're probably eating other creatures, aren't they?
So you're probably doing your garden good to leave them.
I don't think they are actually doing your garden good.
Are they not?
They're eating. If they eat your leaves...
-I know nothing about gardening. -...they can wreck your plants.
-Can they? -That's why they make slug pellets.
-Well, yeah, you're right. -They don't make worm pellets.
Silly old me, I know.
I suppose the next one along is the caterpillar...
which seems a shame when you think a caterpillar becomes such a beautiful thing.
But a caterpillar can make such a mess of it...
a lot of plants with leaves munched away again.
I like the idea of a good crop of potatoes...
or a good crop of beans and peas.
-Whereas flowers... -Aren't useful.
-I mean, they are. -They are.
-They're useful in that... -They're pretty.
...you can sit and enjoy them but it's a lot of effort.
No, it's not.
I must admit to having a very great affection...
for the plant that we call by the unfortunate name of...
dogtooth violet. Sorry for that delay.
There is a shrub that I do like actually, and that's the burning bush.
-You ever seen them? -The burning bush?
-It's called a "burning bush." -A burning bush.
A burning bush it's called, and basically, it goes green...
and when it dies, it goes completely brilliant red.
-Like flames. -That's why they call it the burning bush...
because it goes from a nice dark green to a real burning red.
-And that's called the burning bush. -And it turns to ash?
It just goes to thin, little branches, and then it goes green again...
and it goes all over again. But the tree never goes away.
-lt stays there all the time. -Oh, right.
So it's a year... It's a bush that's there, or I should say a shrub...
as well as a bush, that's there all year round.
Just mucky, messy, boring rubbish.
-It's got a shed... -It's gorgeous.
...which I'm really made up about...
because I've always wanted a shed all my life, and now I've got one.
-To read pornography in. -No, not to read pornography in.
To have a radio and listen to the football results with a paraffin heater...
in fingerless gloves.
It's not chocolate, it's not grass.
It's not anything. It's dirt.
I'm telling stories.