[HorribleSubs] Kitakubu Katsudou Kiroku - 05.ass (DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES)
Who rides there so late through the night dark and drear?
The father it is, with his infant so dear.
He holdeth the boy tightly clasped in his arm,
He holdeth him safely, he keepeth him warm.
So... what are you singing, exactly?
It's Schubert's "Demon King!"
And why that song?
This song was written in the 19th century.
The composer died more than fifty years ago.
Which means...
We can use it in our show
without paying any royalties to the composer's estate!
Record 15
The Demon King's Dignity
"Demon King"
Composed by Schubert
Created by adding music to a poem by Goethe.
"Demon King," huh?
I play Schubert's songs on my Steinway now and then, but...
When I was in middle school,
I really admired people who could play that piece.
I know what you mean.
My teacher in middle school said it was amazing, too.
I think...
it goes: "My father, my father, the Demon King is coming," right?
Sakura-senpai, you told us before that you were in the Chorus Club,
but I never knew you could sing in German, too.
Did you also sing "Die Moldau" in German?
That's amazing, Sakura-senpai!
You're bilingual!
Aw...
I learned "Demon King" in middle school, as well,
but the Demon King in the song is kind of a weak bad guy, isn't he?
Huh?
All he did was seduce a kid and kill him.
He's like an urban legend, at most.
It does seem a bit small-scale for the work of a Demon King.
He also doesn't meet any of the criteria for desirable qualities in a Demon King.
Desirable qualities in a Demon King?
Here's what you look for in a Demon King!
Overwhelmingly Powerful Magic
First, overwhelmingly powerful magic.
Charisma to Command Underlings
Next, the charisma to command underlings.
Grand Ambition
And finally, grand ambition!
If those are the criteria, he'd instantly fail an interview for the Demon King job.
Failure as a Demon King?!
After all, kidnapping a child seems like a job for an underling, doesn't it?
Then, maybe the song actually went something like this:
Dear infant, oh, come thou with me!
Many fun games I will play with thee!
My father, my father!
The Demon King's a creep!
A creep?
Hey!
If you won't come quietly, I'll just take you by force!
Rain down on him:
Dark Meteor!
But he didn't have enough MP!!
Nothing...
My boy, 'tis only the wail of the wind.
He's just a grunt...
Against a Demon King like that,
I could have my casters use normal melee attacks on him.
I'm not gonna waste my MP on you!
Oof!
But he's a Demon King...
He's so low-level, he wouldn't be able to appear if you used Holy Water.
Oh, no! Some holy power is protecting him!
But he's a Demon King!
I bet insta-kill spells would even work on him.
Death!
But he's a Demon King!
I bet he's some low-level monster who just calls himself the Demon King.
That sounds about right.
Perhaps I should report him to the Fair Trade Commission for false advertising.
No, the more pertinent matter is:
How can we get him to act like a true Demon King should?
Let's do it!! Reinvent the Demon King!
Let's brainstorm that instead!
The first criterion was "overwhelmingly powerful magic," right?
Oh, I see.
A Demon King would need a reason to abduct children in person.
Yes! That is important!
With these changes in mind,
perhaps it'd go a bit more like this?
Demon King
Lyrics: Going Home Club Music: Schubert
Who rides there so late through the night dark and drear?
The father it is, with his infant so dear.
Father, I'm scared!
I can't believe the demons have discovered that my boy
was born with the mark of a hero on his right hand!
Father! The Demon King!
What?!
Greetings, future hero.
You are the dark Demon King, Veribadd!
Out of respect to the hero's mark you bear,
I have come to slay you with my own hand.
Now, die in the depths of despair!
Dark Meteor!
The boy was killed. His father saw nothing but darkness before his eyes!
Huh? Game over?!
Well, he's definitely more like a Demon King now,
but doesn't that make the game impossible?!
Well, the story had a bad ending to begin with.
This is just the inevitable result of making the Demon King stronger.
Besides, it gives the song a moving finale!
Oh, my boy... How wretched that you had to die!!
He comes back to life?!
Chronicles of the Going Home Club
Going Home Club Photo Studio
That strawberry mousse looks delicious. I'm so hungry! -Karin
Even Kintaro-san would be satisfied!
This is much more reliable than investing in foreign exchange!
Gold is a safe investment.
If you want to buy gold, come to Yaezakura Gold!
Safe and Reliable Investment Management
Yaezakura GOLD
Yaezakura Gold!
Chronicles of the Going Home Club
Well, now that the commercial's over,
let's get hyped up for our "Reinvent the Demon King: Before and After" in the B part!
Then she heard the toka-ton-ton.
My life's goal is to cultivate my willpower
and become a strong person.
You say such wonderful things, Botan-chan.
Are you K now?
What kind of retort was that?
But what about reinventing the Demon King?
Toka-ton-ton
Toka-ton-ton
Well, once I heard that sound, I lost the will to do it.
"That sound"?
"Toka-ton-ton" A mysterious sound that comes from nowhere and makes you lose the motivation for what you're doing. Source: Dazai Osamu, Tokatonton
"Toka-ton-ton":
A mysterious sound that comes from nowhere and
makes you lose the motivation for what you're doing.
It comes from Dazai Osamu's short story, "Tokatonton."
By the way, it's often used as an excuse by lazy writers.
Record 16
Recommended Literature
Kokoro
A novel written by
Natsume Soseki.
We second years are currently reading Natsume Soseki's Kokoro in Modern Lit.
K is one of the characters.
Have you two read it?
In middle school, I read it for a book report.
How about you, Karin?
Kokoro?
You've never read it, have you?
Kokoro by Natsume Soseki
Kokoro is really popular in our class right now.
Since last week, more and more people
seem to be going out to buy the novel.
It's become quite a movement.
But it's in the textbook.
People are still buying the novel?
What's in the textbook is only an extract from the full novel.
A lot of students want to read the whole thing.
So now...
Boom
Kokoro Goes Here
Our classroom has its own Kokoro collection!
Wow!
That's amazing!
Claire-senpai, has this movement reached your class?
It's not to that extent in my class.
But my textbook is custom-made, so it contains the full text.
Modern Literature
Claire's Personal Textbook
That's a pointless customization!
Since the opportunity presented itself, I tried
reading it from the start, too, but...
How was it?
The full version felt weird.
Are you critiquing a J-Pop song?!
But that Sensei character is such a NEET...
The hook was the only good part of it.
Where?!
Where's the hook in a novel?!
Anyway, lately, the people in my class have been quoting
lines from Kokoro for all situations.
Right, Botan-chan?
Yeah.
This is the most popular one.
Spiritually, you must...
keep seeking to improve yourself or you're a...
buffoon!
There it is! SKB!
S: Spiritually you must K: Keep seeking to improve yourself or you're a B: Buffoon
You abbreviate it?!
When would you ever use that?!
Um, what does that phrase even mean?
One of the characters in the novel unleashes it on his best friend, K,
as a killing blow to his heart.
Oh, I see.
Well, that's not exactly wrong, but...
There was a dead seal at Kinosaki.
But there are a lot of good stories in our literature textbooks.
When I was in middle school,
I really liked reading Memories of Youth.
That's a short story by Herman Hesse, right?
Herman Hesse "Memories of Youth"
"So that's the kind of guy you are."
So that's the kind of guy you are.
"Uh..."
Uh...
I was like, why are these people getting so heated over something like bugs?
Huh? She hasn't read it at all!
Yeah, you're right.
The emperor moth and Ryuji the praying mantis are like cockroaches.
They're all just bugs.
You people get right to the heart of things...
Oh yeah... Wasn't there a story about going out to buy apples?
Apples?
What kind of story was it?
I think I know.
A little fox goes out on a snowy day to buy apples.
The little fox went out to buy mittens.
What happened in it?
Let me see...
I think Takashi-kun takes 1,000 yen with him to go shopping,
and the apples are 80 yen apiece...
Never mind. That was math.
How did you get those mixed up?!
Cute
Do you use that for everything?!
The seal laughed and laughed!
I always loved "Run, Melos!"
That's by Dazai Osamu, right?
Melos and Campanella's friendship...
was truly wonderful!
You're mixing up two different stories!
That isn't right?
Melos using the Galactic Railroad would be cheating!
Giovanni, your father will return with a sealskin coat!
It's otter skin!
That's not it.
"Run, Melos!" goes like this:
Melos gets enraged!
He decides that he must eliminate the evil tyrant king!
But just then, he hears the "toka-ton-ton."
Ah, forget this.
Melos fails!
There's also "The Moon Over the Mountain."
"The Moon Over the Mountain"?
It's about a minor official who fails to become
a poet, so he becomes a tiger instead.
Well, that's not entirely wrong, but...
Becomes... a tiger?
Botan! A tiger!
You will become a tiger!
The Moon Over the Mountain
No, it's not like that at all...
I'll explain it so you can understand.
"The Moon Over the Mountain" goes like this:
Today was another miserable day.
Every Sunday night,
I find myself thinking the same thing.
It's a lazy day off, when nothing happens and nothing changes.
I wish things could stay like this forever.
But...
The Monday Over the Miserable
Is that you, Atsushi-kun?
Yes, it's me.
My overwhelming narcissism has transformed me into a tiger.
Come on, smile.
Despite this wretched form I've ended up in,
I still dream of seeing all the narcissistic poems
I've written since middle school published in an anthology,
debuting to rave reviews and a huge print run,
and having all the girls falling at my feet.
I know!
Before my soul turns completely into a tiger's,
please listen to the poems I've written.
They're all masterpieces!
I just know they'll touch you deeply!
Way to scare someone off...
In other words, if a poet does not train himself mentally, he'll become a tiger, right?
Anyway, funny how we all just have vague recollections of these stories.
Because we read all of them in class, I guess.
No wonder our memories are so vague.
You sound completely unashamed about that!
Record 17
Vaguely-Remembered Folk Tales
By the way, I saw a commercial using the character Kintaro recently...
Why are you bringing that up?
Well, it made me realize that I don't
remember the story of Kintaro very well.
Yeah, that's true...
Though, I remember Momotaro and Urashima Taro pretty well.
Didn't he sumo-wrestle a bear?
Yeah, I think I sorta remember that happening.
But the way you always picture Kintaro is like that, right?
Gold
Yeah, Kintaro with an ax on his shoulder.
Where do you want to use the ax?
Ax?
Ax?
Where did he use an ax, again?
The part where he kills a bear?
His story isn't that graphic!
Or no matter how many times he chops the bear, it still has the same face?
You're thinking of Kintaro candy!
I remember now.
Kintaro drops the ax into a lake.
Then, a bear rises out of it...
Kintaro-san.
Did you drop this golden ax or this silver—
That's Aesop!
Didn't the village chief send Kintaro out
on a quest to hunt bears with his ax?
Battle-ax: Leg-Locker Ax (Mod) Attack Poison Sharpness Equipment Critical
Kintaro didn't go hunting, and he never made bear-based equipment!
But that game is really tough at first, you know?
It's hard to make any progress.
That's because you try to solo them!
Maybe it's more like this!
Being late on my first day after transferring to a new school is the pits!
What happens next?
Still in the circle! Still in! Still in!
Still in! Still in! Still in!
Wham
Whoa! It's a bear!
He still killed it in the end?!
Hand over your millet dumpling!
If our memory of Kintaro is this vague,
you think we really remember Momotaro and Urashima Taro as well as we thought?
Let's find out, shall we?
I'm pretty sure Momotaro starts like this...
A long time ago...
in a galaxy far, far away,
lived an old man and a woman...
How many episodes are there?!
Episode IV: A New Peach Far away, there lived an old man and an old woman. One day, the old man went up the mountain to cut grass, while the old woman did the laundry. As she washed the clothes in the river, a large peach washed up. "My, this will make a nice gfit," she said, and took the peach home.
Are Episodes 1 to 3 about the old man?!
Momotaro had a giant, shaggy-haired monkey, a shiny friend made of gold,
and a robot with a dwarf inside.
Together, they went off to fight ogres.
The only thing you got right was the monkey!
And if you're gonna parody it that much,
you might as well show the rest of them!
Well, setting that aside, the old man goes to the mountain,
and the old woman goes down to the river and finds a peach.
Then, she performs a C-section and pulls out a little boy!
You recounted the situation accurately, but your word choice was bizarre!
Then, Momotaro travels around the country buying up properties
to defeat the God of Poverty, right?
Huh?
Aren't you going to retort?
Oh... I thought it best to not even touch that one, so I let it slide.
Take 2!
Now that I think about it,
the idea of a monkey defeating an ogre is pretty laughable.
I wouldn't worry about that part too much.
No, monkeys are tougher than you think.
Monkeys are scary!
What was Urashima Taro's story about?
Uh... I think it starts with some kids harassing a turtle...
That's right.
Then, he buys the turtle off the bullies and saves it from them.
In other words, he solved the problem using money.
Yes, but you make it sound so dirty!
Now, now...
If he hadn't used money to solve the problem, he couldn't have saved the turtle.
Weren't there any other options?!
And if Urashima Taro hadn't saved the turtle...
I couldn't even save one little turtle...
I regret ever being born.
Taro! Live on!
Just make a boat out of mud!
Now, what was "Fire-Crackle Mountain" about?
It's about a rabbit who traps a raccoon dog and drowns him.
What?! Wait...
What about "The Crab and the Monkey"?
The crab's crew gang up on a monkey and torture him to death.
Wait! Wait!
"The Man Who Made the Dead Trees Blossom"?
He burns a dead dog and scatters the ashes to make a tree blossom.
Make this tree blossom!
That's true, but...
Now that I think about it...
a lot of those old folktales are really violent!
They sure are.
It's your memories that are making them violent!
The crows are calling,
so it's time to go home.
Going Home Above All
Hey, Natsuki-chan!
Coming!
Going Home Club
Fire Prevention Supervisor: Kintaro
Going Home Club
Fire Prevention Supervisor: Urashima Taro
Huh?!
No one looked into it?
Didn't you look into it, Natsuki-chan?
Well, no.
I thought one of you would have done so.
And I figured it wouldn't really matter if we didn't find out, anyway...
Spiritually, you must...
keep seeking to improve yourself or you're a...
buffoon!
I'm a failure?!
Natsuki Fails!!
Preview
Karin here.
Did you know that dugongs have crescent-shaped tails,
and manatees have paddle-shaped tails?
I forget what "kabaddi" tails are shaped like.
Next time, Record 18: Youth is an Explosion!
And two others.
Going Home Club Miniature Theater
Sakura-senpai isn't like a pastry at all, is she?
You're right.
I think Doumyouji is the name of a temple.
What?
Sakura-senpai entered the priesthood?
I've been so rude to her!
Calm down, Karin-san.
Sakura-san has hair.
She's not a monk.
B-But it could be a wig...
That's true.
If you think of them as parts, they could easily detach.
And her bangs too?
The rest could be painted on.
That is not the case!
Sakura-san!
Stop playing around, you two.
My name is—
Shh!
Lord, have mercy on me...
Come on. Take off your wig.
Don't "Come on" me!
You can pray to me all you like, but I won't bless you!
Toka-ton-ton. Toka-ton-ton.
Anyway, it's not made up of parts.
It's a helmet!
See you next time!