Christian B. Woodruff

Transcription

And I felt myself going I was in a great deal of pain. It was a very frightening experience but I began to slip I just sort of felt myself going and I remember trying to hold on I'll be o.k, Ill be o.k and it got to the point where I just couldn't and everything began to just become very quiet and I can remember with every ounce of strength I had I wanted to say goodbye to my wife it was important to me and I did I remember just turning my head looking at her and saying "I'm going to die Goodbye Joan" and I did. It was then that I experienced what we call a near-death experience . For me there was nothing "near" about it it was there. It was a total immersion in light brightness, warm, peace, security and I did not have an out of body experience I did not see my body or anyone about me I just immediately went into this beautiful bright light it's difficult to describe a matter of fact it's impossible to describe. Verbally it cannot be expressed. Its something which becomes you you become it. I could say that I was peace I was love I was the brightness it was part of me I had no recollection of anything biological It's not like you could see something because your sight as biological it's necessary here hearing is necessary here, speech is necessary here. It's not there you just know Your all knowing everything is a part of you It's just so beautiful It was eternity It's like I was always there and I will always be there that my existence on earth was just a very breif instant It's a hard concept to understand eternity because when you compare it to time... Time requires progression things have a sequence, things follow each other this is all at once everything there's no passing of one thing to another. I'd like to call it a different dimension but I can't really call it that because that could be defined and there are different dimensions they have beginning's and end's So that doesn't fit. It was at least six months after the incident that I could even speak to my wife about it it was such an emotional beautiful swelling feeling inside that every time I tried to express it I'd think I would just explode I would break down and cry and she for the longest time couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Interviewer: Well, she must have wondered a lot then about how you were dealing with this episode because she as you say was a nurse and knew the seriousness of your condition and I guess also knew that you had again this is the case that you had clinically died. Yes my heart stopped I stopped breathing I guess I was out about a minute and they brought me back the minute I came back the pain returned immediately the fear Interviewer: The human emotions? Yes, everything human came back and I remember being very angry that they brought me back and my wife ended up asking me why later "You seemed angry how come?" I just couldn't tell her. That was probably the most frustrating six-months of my existence after experiencing perfection in something so beautiful I wanted to hold on to it didn't want to let it go and it wasn't easy after I'd recovered the second time and went home I.... everything just seemed to have changed it was almost like I was starting my life all over again I was a baby I hadn't made the mistakes that I had made in my life things weren't messed up I can recall in my attempt to hold on to this feeling and to hold on to this peace I began to bump into earthly things you know of course aren't going to escape from you they're there My first frustrating experience was with the television I couldn't watch television There would be a commercial, a cosmetic commercial I couldn't I'd have to turn it off because it was something false it was unnecessary it was fake it just didn't belong you know insignificant any type of violence even an old western movie I'd have to turn it off because to me that was total ignorance there was just no reason on earth to show people killing people that was frustration especially when the family is sitting down trying to watch television and dad gets up and turns it off all the time so I finally just learned to go to my room It got to the point where I had a great deal of time readjusting and it was at that time a very close friend who was a priest we called him father bob who sat down with me a few times and very understanding he was a man that I know did not experience what I did but he seemed to know. He knew what I was talking about - very understanding perhaps the most important thing he did for me was to help me to readjust to accept life to understand you are living you know that was there it will come again and there is much more here and that I was here for a reason and it did help,. I'm back to watching television. ( Laughs )