[HorribleSubs] Utakoi - 06.ass (DOWNLOAD SUBTITLES)
G1 Grand Prix in the Heian Capital!
It's the day we've all been waiting for!
The event that will open a new door to our history,
the first Ox Cart G1 Grand Prix in the Heian Capital!
Commentator
Analyst
I, Fujiwara no Teika, will be your commentator.
Utsunomiya no Yoritsuna will be your analyst!
I am honored.
Yoritsuna-san, it's finally here.
Yes, this event is supposed
to signal a new beginning for the Heian.
All eyes are watching.
Let's introduce the course, then.
We begin near the Suzaku Palace
and head south on Suzaku Avenue.
After passing through Rashomon, we head east,
then turn north to cross the Kamo River
and pass Kiyomizu Temple.
There's a pit stop here.
Then we cross the Kamo River again and head north,
move west on Ichijo Road,
turn left after passing by the Greater Palace,
and return to Suzaku Avenue to complete the city course.
Yoritsuna-san, what are the key points?
I believe the slope near Kiyomizu Temple will be a factor.
Both the climb and the descent will be treacherous.
The drivers will need excellent ox control.
Next, we have the starting grid.
At the pole, we have the speedy playboy, Ariwara no Narihira.
In the front row is the wild young stallion, the former Emperor Yozei (Sadaakira).
In third, we have the technically proficient Funya no Yasuhide.
In fourth, we have the Hawk of Inaba, Ariwara no Yukihira.
In fifth, we have the hundred-nights-of-ox-carting veteran,
Yoshimine no Munesada.
Finally, we have the Uji monster, the Monk Kisen.
Otomo no Kuronushi failed to qualify.
Now, who will be the first champion of this new age?
History is about to be made!
Teika's Room
Fujiwara no Teika
Hello.
It's time for Teika's room.
Today, we have three of Heian's finest.
Ariwara no Narihira-san,
Funya no Yasuhide Ono no Komachi Ariwara no Narihira
Ono no Komachi-san, and Funya no Yasuhide-san.
Hello.
It's a pleasure.
The three of you were
selected as members of the Six Poetic Geniuses.
In addition, Narihira-san is
the stud who's said to be the model for Hikaru Genji.
Komachi-san is one of the three great beauties.
And, uh...
Yasuhide-san is a master of wordplay.
I appreciate the thought.
Here we have a classic two male, one female group.
Has there been any romantic trouble?
No.
That was a firm denial.
After all, Narihira-sama is a danger
to all women he comes across.
Yes, he's made advances towards
future empresses and sacred maidens.
Sacred maidens?
Imperial Princesses = the Emperor's daughters and sisters
The maidens of highest sanctity
selected from among the Imperial Princesses?
That's amazing.
There are always obstacles in love.
You can't fall in love if you let yourself be scared away.
That sounds nice and all, but you're just a player.
Yeah, and he preys on women.
Preys on women?
They'll probably be extinct by the 21st century.
The goal is to wipe them out.
But shouldn't that make Komachi-san one of your targets?
Well, let's just say
that I prefer women who are well-endowed.
What's that supposed to mean?
However, nothing ever works out as planned.
My one true love was only an AA-cup.
What? Is that a problem?
For reference, my brother Yukihara's wife, Hiroko-dono,
is a G-cup.
How do you know that?!
And Komachi is...
We're finally here.
This is Mount Tsukuba.
Mount Tsukuba!
The stage for many gatherings!
This is the famous place
where men and women have exchanged
poetry and love since the time of the Manyo!
You're still on a high.
I've always wanted to come here!
We've passed Mikawa, where I've been assigned,
and traveled far east...
Well, I have a job to do.
That's unfortunate.
We'll finally be alone.
I don't have time for this,
but I can't leave Komachi and Narihira alone!
Well, since we're here, let's have a celebration.
You want to have a mixed party with these members?
Right, we're short one woman.
That's not what I meant.
I'll go find someone else.
The two of you can get started.
What?!
Wait!
Bye.
Honestly, he's so hopeless.
He's dressed like a monk,
so he could try to act like one.
Yeah, I know...
Bastard! He's too overbearing!
But this is my chance...
Komachi.
Yes?
Uh, actually...
I-I've always been...
In love with you!
Honestly, Yasuhide-sama!
You're such a joker!
Don't make me laugh.
Besides, I only like handsome men.
Still, that's a good idea.
Let's pretend to speak of love.
Pretend
We should come up with a background story first,
and we'll need to write love poems to each other.
I'll pretend to be a married woman.
You can be the unfortunate man
who fell in love with a married woman.
Yes, I'm a very unfortunate man...
Okay, write a poem for me.
Make sure you refer to Mount Tsukuba.
Tsu-Tsukuba...
Great day for fishing,
but nothing's biting.
Fool.
What was that?! I don't get it!
Please come up with the next verse.
That's impossible!
Lame.
G1 Grand Prix in the Heian Capital!
Yoritsuna-san, whom do you expect to win?
I want to say Narihira,
but instead, I'll pick his brother Yukihira.
Yoritsuna-san has picked Yukihira!
My hopes are pinned on the Monk Kisen!
Who do you favor?
There's the red signal.
And they're off!
Teika's Room
It's time for Teika's room.
This time, we have the
brilliant general known as the Monk Henjo.
Monk Henjo
After Emperor Ninmyo passed away,
you resigned and abandoned
the name Yoshimine no Munesada to become Henjo.
Teika-dono.
Yes?
Could you call me Munesada today, instead of Henjo?
Oh, why?
Henjo is thought of as a perverted monk.
Perverted monk?
The sky is the road home for the holy maidens, may the wind bring clouds to extend their stay.
The Monk Henjo
Hey, don't you think that the Monk Henjo is a little perverted?
Yeah, since he wrote about "holy maidens."
There's no excuse for that.
He must have been a perverted monk.
Perverted monk!
A perverted monk!
Because you published my poem
under the name the Monk Henjo.
But that's because you so diligently climbed
to such a high rank among monks.
I wanted to respect that...
I-It's hard with people who have multiple names,
Lord Kentoku = Fujiwara no Koremasa Lord Teishin = Fujiwara no Tadahira
such as Lord Teishin and Lord Kentoku.
For most of the women, I didn't know their real names,
so I had to use nicknames.
Like Sei Shonagon, Murasaki Shikibu,
and Ono no Komachi-dono...
For the mother of General of the Right, Michitsuna,
Komachi...
I basically put Michitsuna-kun's mom.
He means Yoshiko...
You live in a place that only has women.
Uh-huh.
That's why I love to play with you.
Huh?
They make me play with dolls at home.
You take me outside where it's more fun.
Really? I feel like I have a little sister. I'm having fun, too.
Little sister?
Then... Then...
Can I call you my
dear brother?
After that, Yoshiko and I were raised as brother and sister.
That's how we grew up.
I see.
That's why you didn't realize it was love.
Yoshiko always addressed me as her "dear brother,"
and I didn't mind.
That means she'll have to stop.
Huh?
After you've visited her one hundred nights,
you'll be getting married, right?
You would address each other by name then.
Munesada-sama...
Dear brother...
Munesada-san?
I prefer the brother-sister angle.
Huh?
Since there's a touch of taboo involved.
Super-Liberal Interpretation of the Hyakunin Isshu
Uta-Hen.
What?
We grant dreams and love every night.
Welcome to Host Club Heian.
I am Ariwara no Yukihira, the owner.
I would like to introduce our top hosts.
Our number 5 is the studious younger brother type, Teika.
He has a knack for getting his way.
Teach me more, ladies.
He's adorable!
Our number 4 is the entertainer, Yasuhide.
He specializes in wordplay.
Allow me to host you at the host club.
Wow, lame!
Our number 3 is the self-centered jerk, Sadaakira.
Women beg for him to yell at them.
What are you looking at?!
Get your ass over here, woman!
I want to hear more!
Our number 2 is the friendly older brother type, Munesada.
He's sensitive and devoted.
Do you mind if I call upon you?
Please! Please!
Our number 1 host is Narihira.
He will whisper sweet words in your ear.
I offer my heart to you, princess.
My precious one, let us make love in our dreams.
Hello, Narihira.
Oh, Takaiko. I've been waiting for you.
You look lovely in that crimson dress.
I'm enthralled.
Ten bottles of Dom Perignon Rose.
One order for pink champagne!
In the sleepy spring sunlight, Rosy Dom and Perignon.
A wealth of love awaits you at Host Club Heian.
G1 Grand Prix in the Heian Capital!
Teika's Room
Hello.
I am your host, Fujiwara no Teika.
I am his assistant, Utsunomiya no Yoritsuna.
Today, we have a married couple as our guests.
And they're newlyweds.
Uh-oh, I'm expecting some sappy talk.
Let's bring them in then.
Husband and wife.
Come on down!
The Former Emperor Yozei,
Former Emperor Yozei Wife, Yasuko
also known as Sadaakira-san, and Yasuko-san!
Hello.
I believe that you've known each other since you were children.
Indeed.
Were you attracted to each other back then?
I'm not sure.
In hindsight, that may have been the case.
Keep your mouth shut, frog girl.
Oh, that was, "I love you, honey."
Huh?
Really?
Yes.
Stop making shit up, you sow!
I'll chop you up and cook you!
That was, "You're so cute that I could eat you up."
Ah...
Hey, ugly! If you keep talking,
I'll string you up in the pond all night!
What?
Th-That was,
"I'm not going to let you go tonight."
We're leaving!
Huh?
I'm tired!
What? Already?
You want to as soon as we get home?
Stop talking! Do you want me to gag you?!
How would you like it tonight?
Shut up!
G1 Grand Prix!
Commentator
Analyst
I am Teika, your commentator.
The race is halfway through
and the racers have made their pit stops!
Let's go to Yoritsuna-san on the scene!
Yoritsuna-san.
Yes, this is Yoritsuna at Kiyomizu Temple.
Can you tell us what's going on there?
Yes, the crews are finishing up their work.
Munesada-sama, we've finished changing the tires.
Yes.
Narihira-sama, please have some water.
Have some sweets, as well.
Damn you, Narihira!
Thank you.
A general dares to stand ahead of me?
In that case...
Hey, Yasuko!
What is it, Sadaakira-sama?
Bring me sake.
Sake?
Let the ox drink some. It'll restore his energy.
Is this really a good idea?
What's going on?
We have a crash!
The pit is in chaos!
This is big trouble!
Teika's Room
This is Teika's Room.
Our last guest is Fujiwara no Kinto-san,
a great poet of the mid-Heian era.
Fujiwara no Kinto
So, Teika-kun...
Yes, what is it?
Why did you call me here?
Everybody else here has already been on this show,
while this is my first time.
I'm not too happy about this being my first appearance.
W-Well, you see...
We'll be moving on to the mid-Heian era next,
so I invited you as a representative of that period.
Then shouldn't you have invited
Chancellor of the Realm Fujiwara no Michinaga?
At the time, you played a significant role
in To Shikibu changing her name to Murasaki Shikibu,
and you were also involved with Sei Shonagon,
author of the Pillow Book.
So I felt that you were a perfect choice, as a cultural leader of the period.
The title of "leader" sounds a bit too high and mighty for my tastes,
but I suppose that you're right.
Since I excel at poetry, literature, and music,
Whew, he's in a better mood now.
I can understand why you would consider me a leader.
By the way, Teika-kun.
Oh, yes.
The standards you followed
for the Hyakunin Isshu were slightly weak.
Really?
I wouldn't have included Yakamochi's "When the Misty Bridge,"
and I don't understand how you ignored
Prince Tomohira, who was later considered a literary genius.
Plus, 43 of the 100 poems are love poems,
so it's not very balanced.
I realize that you compiled it for a kinsman living in seclusion,
but is it appropriate to fill the collection with poems about love?
Do you believe that you're...
Wh-What was that for?!
Tee-hee.
You have a serious attitude problem!
How dare you punch the great councilor Kinto?!
In that case, I will defeat
your Hyakunin Isshu with my Sanjurokuninsen!
Heian
The Heian Poet Card Battle, Teika vs. Kinto!
Poet Card Battle
The Heian Poet Card Battle is a game
where each poet card has been assigned a power value.
Each player starts with 30,000 Soul Points.
The player who reduces his opponent to zero Soul Points first wins.
The player also wins if his opponent runs out of cards first.
The battlefield has attack zones and defense zones.
Once a poet has been summoned to the attack zone,
it's allowed to attack in the next turn
in the opponent's attack zone or the player.
Poets summoned to the defense zone cannot attack,
but they can defend when the opponent attacks.
The player is also allowed to spend
100 Soul Points at the beginning of his turn
to move a poet between zones.
Each poet has a power value.
When poets battle,
the poet with the higher power value wins.
The defeated poet will be sent to the graveyard.
When the poets have equal power, it's a draw,
and they're both sent to the graveyard.
When summoning a poet,
the player must pay half the poet's power value in Soul Points.
It's riskier to summon Poets with higher power values.
The player recovers 1,000 Soul Points
after the draw phase of his turn.
However, the max is 30,000.
Also, there are Poets with special abilities.
The key is to choose the right poets when building a deck.
Turn 1, Kinto!
Draw.
I summon Nakatsukasa to the defense zone.
End turn.
Turn 2, Teika!
Draw.
I summon Funya no Yasuhide to the attack zone.
End turn.
Turn 3, Kinto!
Draw.
End turn.
Turn 4, Teika!
He didn't do anything...
Draw.
I summon Harumichi no Tsuraki to the defense zone.
I attack the player with Yasuhide.
I take the damage.
He didn't block my attack?
Turn 5, Kinto!
Draw.
End turn.
He's not taking me seriously.
Turn 6, Teika!
Draw!
I move Tsuraki to the attack zone.
I summon Advisor Takamura to the defense zone!
Then I attack the player with Yasuhide and Tsuraki!
I take the damage.
Turn 7, Kinto!
Draw.
Teika-kun, you've lost.
I move Nakatsukasa to the attack zone.
Then I activate the card's ability.
When the player has less than 10,000 Soul Points,
the cost to summon Manyo poets is reduced to 1/10.
I summon Yamabe no Akahito, Otomo no Yakamochi,
and Kakinomoto no Hitomaro to the defense zone.
I see! This was his strategy!
Plus, I activate the Sanjurokuninsen ability.
Add 1,000 power for each additional poet.
Nakatsukasa's power increases to 10,000.
I attack the player!
I block with Takamura!
Turn 8, Teika!
I need to defend or I'll lose!
Draw.
Move Yasuhide to the defense zone,
and I use the Monk ability to
send Tsuraki to the graveyard
and summon the Monk Kisen at no cost.
The Six Poetic Genius bonus
increases their power by 2,000.
Then I summon Narihira
and his power increases by 2,000.
Narihira also benefits from the Sanjurokuninsen ability
and gains an additional 4,000 power.
Finally, I summon myself and end my turn.
You've managed to stabilize.
Turn 9, Kinto!
However, every poet in my deck
was a member of the Sanjurokunin.
My power will continue to increase.
Draw.
I move Nakatsukasa to the defense zone.
Then I summon Minamoto no Shitago and end my turn.
Now, it's your turn.
He's going to overwhelm me at this rate.
Turn 10, Teika!
What do I do?!
Teika...
Sing for me, Teika...
Draw.
Kinto-senpai, you lose.
What?
I move myself to the attack zone!
I summon Princess Shokushi to the defense zone!
I activate the ability Teika Jasmine!
All other poets are unable to act!
There's nobody to defend you now!
What?!
Prepare yourself!
As I wait!
That's enough.
Oh, Tsurayuki-senpai.
You shouldn't fight.
You're both excellent poets, so you should be friends.
Right?
Uh...
Understood!
Teika-kun, your Hyakunin Isshu is beautiful!
Let's talk poetry again some time!
R-Right...
So, Tsurayuki-senpai,
could you give me your autograph?
G1 Grand Prix Final!
The crash isn't over yet!
The pit is still a mess!
Yoritsuna-san, give us an update!
One of the carts has pulled ahead!
It's Munesada-san's cart!
This is nothing compared
to the hundred nights I spent making visits.
Yoshiko, I dedicate this victory to you.
Yoshimine no Munesada has escaped the chaos
and heads for the Kamo River at an incredible pace!
Victory and Yoshiko are both mine!
What?
All racers are out!
This ended the same way as his hundred nights.
Next time, we have Ox Cart G1 Grand Prix in Dazaifu!
And with that...
Good-bye, everyone!
Stupid
Poetic Tale 6:
END
Next Episode
Yoshitaka & the Daughter of Minamoto no Yasumitsu
Fujiwara no Yoshitaka
For you, I would have given up my life.
Now together, I guard it dear.