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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cellius
Native name
株式会社セリウス
Kabushiki gaisha
Joint venture
IndustryVideo game industry
FoundedJune 3, 2007; 11 years ago (2007-06-03)
DefunctFebruary 29, 2012 [1]
Headquarters,
Key people
Ken Kutaragi (CEO)
ProductsSoftware
OwnerBandai Namco Holdings
Sony
ParentBandai Namco Entertainment (51%)
Sony Interactive Entertainment (49%)
Websitecellius.jp

Cellius (株式会社セリウス Kabushiki-Gaisha Seriusu), located in Shibuya, Tokyo, is a computer game developer founded in 2007 as a venture between Sony and Bandai Namco Holdings. The aim of the company is to "help take share from Microsoft Corp. and Nintendo Co." [2] Sony hopes that the company will make up for the losses it made during quarter two of its financial year. 'Father of the PlayStation' Ken Kutaragi was announced as CEO.

Bandai Namco Holdings holds 51% of the company, and Sony holds 49%. The company plans to use Sony's Cell microprocessor, the heart of the PlayStation 3, for PlayStation 3 games and games for mobile phones and personal computers.

Their only project was a Ridge Racer game for the PlayStation Vita.[3][4] It was panned by critics.

YouTube Encyclopedic

  • 1/5
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    14 473
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  • ✪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - NES - Angry Video Game Nerd - Episode 5
  • ✪ Hideo Kojima on Metal Gear Solid Touch (BB Video: Games)
  • ✪ Game Theory: Jane McGonigal on Emotion in Electronic Games (BB Video)
  • ✪ Ridge Racer Unbounded Official E3 HD video game trailer - PSVita PS3 X360
  • ✪ Jane McGonigal - Games Can Change the World (BB Video @ GDC)

Transcription

Warning: This script contains some text in Shift-JIS encoding, which may be destroyed if edited in some text editors. The original Ninja Turtles is one of the most annoying games I've ever played. You first play it and think, "Well, this can't be too bad. The control's decent, it's fun killing things, the sound effects are cool." You may even think I'm trying to compare it to the sequels, which are far superior. Two-player, arcade action, beat up a bunch of Foot Soldiers. Good stuff. But, this first one, is garbage. You may be like, you know, "Come on, it's the first of its kind, be easy on it." But, no. It sucks. It sucks ass from a straw. And you want to know why? Well, where do I begin? That beeping sound when you're low on energy? I mean, that's so annoying! Now, look at that! Now, how the hell am I supposed to get up there? That's impossible! And who is that guy with the chainsaw anyway? Remember him from Ninja Turtles? I sure don't. The only way I can get up there is with Donatello, the turtle with the longest weapon. C'mon, get over here, you fuck nut. Alright. Okay, all that just for a pizza? Pizza shit! Okay, here's a trick I think everybody knows. When you're fighting Rocksteady, you jump on these crates with Donatello and you just keep hitting him with your bo. Now, what's really weird is the timing. I mean, you have to hit him when he's sorta ducking, not when he's standing up, I guess that would make too much sense, so it's obviously a game flaw. Then there's that level where you have to save the dam. April O'Neil says, "You have my support." Okay. What the hell did she ever do for you? Stupid banana raincoat wearing bitch. So you have to swim and deactivate all these bombs. And there's so many things out there to kill you, and you have a time limit, so, naturally, you're rushing to make it through as fast as you can. And all these electric plants hurt you, so you need a lot of patience. But how could you have patience when you're in a fucking hurry? FUCK! Level 3 is like a maze; You're in the Turtle Van going around, and there's steamrollers coming at you from everywhere. And you know what I always thought was really weird? Why does the Turtle Van have the same energy bar as the turtle that you have selected? Like, shouldn't it have its own since it's, like, the vehicle and not... you know, the turtle? Never mind. So, here's a pop quiz. Who were the target audience for this game? Kids. Kids who were fans of Ninja Turtles. Now, you think they actually would have put more Ninja Turtle characters in the game? Like, uh, Baxter Stockman, the Rat King, Krang? I mean, it's not like Krang was like, a minor character that came in the fifth season of the show. Krang was right there from the beginning. So, like, there's no excuse. There was no excuse not to have him there. I mean, instead, make way for, uh, the missile balloons, flying robot heads, those little butterfly things, Mr. Fire Man. And why don't you hear the Ninja Turtles theme song anywhere in the game? What a piece of shit. And you know what I hate? The fucking jumps in the sewer. If your accuracy is slightly off, you're going down. So you really gotta take your time and watch what's coming up. Ughhh, you son of a fuck! And you know what pisses me off? They're turtles, for fuck's sake! They can't even swim? And look at this shit right here! These spike walls come out at you like an Indiana Jones booby trap. And some game designer who's laughing their ass off decided to put a pizza down there. Okay, w-well, what's the point? I mean, are you going to be suicidal enough to go and try to get that pizza? I mean, who's going to do that? It's impossible. What a joke! Speaking of hard-to-reach pizzas, look at this! Come on! Aughhhh! You fuck rat! This is just a bunch of cock-a-dookie, this is bullfuck. Jesus Christ Almighty. Holy shit! FUCK! Oh my god. Oh, man. Why is this game so hard? It's for kids! Have mercy! And why does this jump have to be so close to the ceiling? Fuck this game! And you know what pisses me off? Every time you fall down, you have to walk through the entire room all over again. All the enemies come back, so you have to fight everybody all over again. Now, if you get the pizza, the pizza doesn't come back, only the bad guys. What a shitload of fuck! I mean, you can't even develop a strategy because the enemies keep changing. It's completely random. I can't get over this fucking jump. If only those two extra platforms weren't there, it wouldn't be a problem. God! Can I get up? Can I get up? Nooooo! God-fucking-dammit, get the fuck up there! Get up there! Fuck! Whoa dude, this game's like a total bummer. What a joke! Fuck! Wait, you can just walk over it? You can just... walk over it. You are scum. Cowabunga... Cow-a-fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick! This game is as appealing as a fucking ooze-infested dirty fucking sewer rat shit! I've had more fun playing with dog turds! Shredder's my ass and Splinter's my balls, this game is an inside-out asshole regurgitated putrid anal fecal matter! I'd rather fucking yank all the hairs out of my scrotum! I'd rather drink diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's anus! It sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit... and I don't like it.

References

  1. ^ http://www.bandainamco.co.jp/files/120401E59FB7E8A18CE5BDB9E593A1EFBCA7EFBCADE4BABAE4.pdf
  2. ^ "Sony, Namco Bandai Ally to Jointly Make Games for PlayStation 3". Bloomberg. January 24, 2007.
  3. ^ "The Strange Studio Born of Two Rival Companies".
  4. ^ "Ridge Racer Coming to PS Vita".

External links


This page was last edited on 4 March 2019, at 13:40
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